DIARY OF A DAMNED MAN 1/10/02 Chicago It was either one of the funniest things or one the sickest and most pathetic displays of adoration I’ve ever witnessed in my life. I’m talking about some of the women at the Elvis Spectacular last night at the House of Blues. The evening started off good enough as we went to the private dining room in the Foundation Room at the House of Blues for dinner. It was dark and quiet and though I was mentally exhausted from days of sitting her in the office working on MK ULTRA, I was at the moment far from disgusted. We took our seats in the opera box #260 at 8PM we viewed about 200 women crowding toward the front of the stage getting drunker every minute. These women were after Elvis or anyone who might attempt to resemble the late King of Rock n Roll. First out was the world famous Michael Kennedy who portrayed the only younger thinner Elvis. He took an intermission and Buzz Killman from WCKG 105.9 came out and sang a tune as Kennedy changed into an outfit remisant of the 1968 comeback black leather. A woman from the audience, who thought she looked like a young and tight Ann Margaret, (she wasn’t) climbed up and began to dance and fondle the Kings pseudo clone. He allowed her to prance about the stage a song and then she dove back into the crowd. The women were going insane meanwhile, reaching for Elvis, and fighting over scarves, vying for his attention. This was followed by an intermission and then some fat, Vegas era Elvi. This was bad and sad and the women ceased to be funny. The fat Elvis onstage was very much into himself. He was the 285 lb. Version of Presley and he knew it. The Ann Margaret wanna-be was really fucked up now and she climbed up after Fat Elvis #1 told her no. She got up and danced around his fat and tried grabbing a handful of blubber only to be escorted offstage. I watched as security walked her from the side of the stage back to her husband/date. Usually the security roughs up anyone uninvited onstage. This lady was up to something rotten, and it reminded me of a wack job from my past, as she said or did something to get thrown out of the venue. They made her and her innocent husband/date we thrown out of HOB. Another Elvis followed and Buzz Kilman from WCKG played harmonica on a few tunes. It was cool to see him in action for the first time. (I’m actually listening to his show right now) Then the show started getting boring. Girls kept bringing out fresh scarves and Fat Elvis tossed the item out to the ravenous dogs that fought for the tokens. Then came a bunch of Teddy Bears which they through out during the song by the same name. And when Tubby sang (Hunk of, Hunk of) Burning Love, I thought to myself why isn’t this Chunk a Chunk a Burning Love. We finally tired of Fat Elvi and left before the female Presley impersonator, which we longed to see. It was fun for a couple hours but I hoped for the rocking young Elvis stuff and less of the miserable Vegas Elvis tribute. A time I’m sure the King would rather have not sweat through. So here I am back at the computer pounding out reviews and planning for Moe Wyoming’s arrival to layout the mock up issue w/ me to sell our product (the Magazine) to some corporate sponsors. And I’m going to attempt to erase from my mind the image of a slob named Kid Rock who appeared at Dick Clarks AMA last night. In a sea of formal wear he couldn’t even break out of character to don a suit of some kind and pay respect to the industry and fans that have made him as much of a household name as his slutdog Pamela Anderson. Damn Tommy looked ragged a few times but Kid Rocks jailhouse style tattoos and unwashed hair is a sheer insult to everyone who watched. But who am I to talk. I’m a struggling writer who thinks his new leather pants, and newer cowboy boots make me a lizard king. BTW: Early warning, I’m working on my Elvis Tribute call Hellvis: The Demonic Elvis which will premier next Alc O Holiday w/ a band and show. Stay tuned.