AZ's Diary of a Damned Man

Yesterday was long and busy and cold. I was in all day till Zoran showed up at 4 and we went to Dorothy's where beer is only $1. I thought we were just going to be there for an hour or so and the next thing we knew it was 7 and we were wasted. Ron called cause we were late for practice Yes, it's official I am the new bass player for All Systems Halt. So somehow we made it over to the practice space, all the way over to Jefferson and Jackson and everyone was there waiting and we were fucked up. Now the basslines aren't the most challenging when it comes to ASH but I couldn't play for shit and Zoran was more fucked up than I was. So we took them all back to Dorothy's with us. The bartender Minella (sp?) said someone called looking for me. OOps, I forgot to tell Brigette so I called her and told her I was there before and was back. She was pissed cause Ron called the house looking for me and neither Zoran and I were here. But she knows to check Dorothy's these day. Once she found out what was up all was cool.

We chilled out till about 1030 when Grego showed up and took me and Zoran to Crazy Horse. For the record Zoran is a teacher and I have no idea how he goes to work the day after hanging out. However we haven't been out in months and the only time I've seen the guy is at rehearsal so I guess we were due. So this was Zorans first time at a strip club and he didn't seem phased. But you never know what he is thinking from the look on his face. For all one knows he could be plotting murder or of a teenage latina student, who knows. So we had a few over priced drinks when he go tithe brilliant idea to get a VIP room for the 3 of us. Who were we to argue? It was becoming obvious that this was his first time at a club like Crazy Horse and they were going to rape him of his tax return check he just put into the bank that was financing. This was his way of paying Grego back for the studio time he's giving us to record/master/produce a really slick demo.

Well the private VIP room is not exactly what I'd call private since there were other VIP's up there. But we felt fooled but were cool with it. Indeed we got teh VIP treatment and after sevarl lap dances better than you get downstairs we were ready to split, but no no no , there was a fucking $500 miniumum on top of what it cost him just to take us up there. So needelss to say Grego broke out his Visa and we were ready to rock n roll. And wth teh 3 of us in leather we stood out and got some very nice TLC untill a real star came in with his entourage, and where did they sit, NEXT TO US.

It was none other than H.I. McDonnough, Cameron Poe, Randall 'Memphis' Raines, Little Junior Brown, Ben Sanderson, Sailor, etc in other words Nick Cage. Not Nick Cave you cyber goth nerds, CAGE! So guess who got the attention then? Well it didn't last long as one of the executives for the film he's doing began rapping to me. He asked if we were in a band and I said as a hobby and that I worked in the business. He introduced himself as Carlos and said since the sixties he worked as a road manager before doing films and he was Mr. Cages personal assistant. So we all sort of made one big table and we surrounded by chicks and getting more than, well your typical treatment you get when you pa 20 bills to walk in the door. I really felt bad for the poor scmucks downstairs.

Nick was really cool. He's into comic books and metal. I always thought he was just into Elvis and I was surprised to hear he nags out at the Viper Room, The Whiskey and Key Club. I told him about my stunt as my impersonation of River Phoenix while in LA playing dead on the sidewalk in from of the Viper and he looked me dead in the eye and said, "He was a good friend of mine." I about shit right there, even with the beer and tequila in me I felt my face turn red. The he laughed and said, "That's pretty funny though, you say you put that on your site? " So I gave out my cards to everyone and the said they'd check it out. SWEET! I also made sure everyone got a copy of Gregos CD, we always make sure we're well armed with them on or persons where ever we go.

Zoran kept taking girls and a couple of the film entourage into the private bathroom, so I can only imagine what they were doing in there. But they were laugh it up and having fun. So who cares?

There was one cute dancer who was rather "enhanced" who was talking to me, Carlos and Nick and she asked if she could get pictures with us. No shit, her name was Trixie I swear! But she didn't look like any Trixie I've ever seen. But I haven't seen any who were nearly naked. She took out her disposable camera and got some evidence that will never appear on this site even if she does keep her promise to mail me the duplicates. I in turn promised to email them to Carlos. Lets just say the photos are better suited for AVN, and I don't think Nick Cage would like to have these images made public. They may show up in my memoirs in about 10 years. But for now, if I get them, they are in the vault.

We had so many girls hovering around us I don't think anyone downstairs had any company with them. And as it goes, some of the drinks were starting to get comp-ed.

Now, it was getting late and everyone was getting buzzed. Champagne after beer and shots has a kick, and for some reason it kicked my memory in. For some reason as I sat there I didn't even remember he was married to Lisa Marie who was once married to Michael Jackson. But as cool as everyone was getting along and as much really twisted talk about Dirty Sanchez, and donkey punch and jelly donut stuff as we were saying I thought it was open forum. So I'm not going to say who, but someone said something about Jacko's sloppy seconds. Well, that was it. SHIT hit the fan. What was laughter turned into violent yelling and I cannot believe the cops didn't come. After about 15 minutes of security diving the room and bus boys picking up some of the crap that got thrown around they actually turn the lights back down and let us take our seats and resume what we were doing. But it got pretty scary. And my memory is a little fuzzy after this. But nothing wakes you up like a pissed off Italian with huge arms who could crush anyone in the room. After awhile we were all laughing about it, but si y mi amigos were careful about what we discussed.

Next thing we knew it was nearly 4 and they said last call. By the time we finished our champagne which has a knack for keeping the implants around, walking out we noticed everyone from downstairs were already gone. Security said they clear out the downstairs first. With the light killing my eyes, I used Zorans cell to call home and tell Booty I was staying out and was okay. No surprise she didn't answer and was certainly deep in sleep, so I left a long weird message. And on the way out we were each given temporary membership cards good till June 1 with free VIP access.

A couple of the girls wanted to hang and a few of the crew guys who were off today invited us down to their suites at the Hard Rock Hotel. I didn't know Chicago had a hard Rock Hotel. Grego was up for it and Zoran instead of calling in sick actually went off to get ready for work, and I know that rocker is hurting, but he didn't look like he was ready for sleep. So Grego and I loaded a few "people" in the car and followed the others who got picked up in a few Lincoln Town Cars, and filled the up with some "guests".

With the sun coming up the room was full of party people and Grego and I got to fulfill a fantasy that not even AVN provided to us in Vegas. I can't go into detail but it has something to do with one of the last scenes of "Requiem For A Dream". Where the hell is my camcorder when I need it?

Grego dropped me off at home around 8AM, and I'm a little frazzled like I've had too much coffee already. I still feel slightly intoxicated, Booty already left for work and this apartment is too bright. It's a good thing I stayed out cause she is cool enough to understand it's better for me not to come home and wake her up when I've been rocking n rolling. So I'msure things are cool on the home front.

I have a bunch of phone numbers and promised this weekend I'd bring out Messy, Gia, Disco Bitch and Angeligue Starr to hang out with Nick, Carlos and the rest. And I will have my video camera for that one. There's a few metal bands playing we can take them to see this weekend. I WISH IT WAS FRIDAY ALREADY! And we cantake Motor Booty with us.

Another interesting phenomenon associated with V.I.P. celebrityhood is the V.I.P. reflection effect during which anyone associated with the V.I.P. becomes a sort of V.I.P. in their own right such as the son of the V.I.P.
Guitar player for the V.I.P.
Girlfriend with the V.I.P.
Accountants of the V.I.P.
The maid, the cat, the best friend