October 13, 2004
Update
I'm so out of the loop as far as what is going in the world. It's going to take a few days to get caught up. If you've read the news on the site you'll see that I'm flying into Florida tomorrow to take care of my mothers cremation and her personal items. I'm having her ashes sent with me.
As I said a few days ago there are a lot of you who have been extremely kind and thoughtful to me through this. I shall not forget the thoughts and words of kindness. Just simple emails, phone calls and most of all the hugs mean more than you will ever know. My mother had many problems in her life but deep down she was warm and caring and loving when she was allowed to be. I'd like to think that some of that resides within me. In many ways I inherited a lot of her and that includes the good and the bad. She had some good friends who I will be meeting tomorrow who really cared a lot about her.
Yesterday before I went up to Milwaukee with Greg to hang out with and see MINISTRY I was waiting for the G man at a bar where a super sweet bartender named Dakota did her best to comfort me. I guess it was obvious that I was in another world. She will always be remembered for that. And last night Al's wife Angie was wonderful about it backstage as well.
The shows with MINISTRY in all of it's INSANITY before, during and after was the only thing that has kept me sane. Ironic don't you think.
Last night I got Rick Neilson from Cheap Trick to get on stage with MINISTRY and they played Supernaut together. It was a historical moment. Al was all hugs and said it was the best birthday he's ever had. He glowed and was thrilled, as were the rest of the band, especially Mikey.
I gotta say as cool as most of you have been there are still a few of you jerks who haven't learned that when you're cut off you're cut off. You did it to yourselves. I'm not going to be a pushover or allow myself to be used anymore. I've been wise to you for awhile, but I've only now opted option for my new attitude. I've not much of a heart left and what hasn't been unanesthetically ripped from me will be shared with others who are giving and understanding with me.
Here are a few images from the last few nights. Be prepared to see a massive gallery dedicated to MINISTRY and all the shenanigans related to them. See now why I was able to smile a little bit.
