AZ's Diary of a Damned Man

in the most simple philosophical way possible: you do have family. . .Family, in truth, is a matter of proximity and time. The people you are around the most start to become your family over time. Let me know if you need a sidekick.

Sincerely,
B "Wonder Boy" H

Now I'm pissed. Some fucking geek out there keeps trying to send me virus after virus and as my Norton software kicks in it freezes my PC and as I try to save the work I've been working on I lose it.

DAMN SHIT PISS FUCK CUNT COCKSUCKER MOTHERFUCKER. There I feel somewhat better.

Things are weird enough in my life that no matter when I feel as tough I've got a handle on it, something comes out of nowhere and surprises me. That's just how my life is and if anything I've learned to accept it. Though as much fun and exciting as the unexpected can sometimes be, other times it's just plain old freaky.

I think it was Ben Franklin or someone within his circles of that era who was quoted as saying " Nature has given woman so much power that the law has very wisely given her little." But as much as that NO LONGER reads true I do agree with another quote from Webster that goes, "Nothing is sooner drier than a woman's tears."

So reader, what the fuck is my point? I'm venting simply, but it is a big reason why I have not been with you recently.

Or you may blame her... a kinder, more gentle member of the species.

Then there is the slight mention the AVN Awards and Expo which is just around the corner, and when one appreciates girls the way Grego and I do, well you're right at home when the topic of conversation usually openly and explicitly deals with subject matter around anal sex, blow jobs, orgies and well, other unspeakable acts that usually make the mainstream, who obviously do not enjoy the sex act, cringe. Plus the women are more up-front, honest and if not barley clothed, completely naked. Hey, we pull no punches and neither do they. So could it be my excitement over being surrounded by the lovely ladies of the adult industry that is keeping me away from home and up late while at the same time, away from and out of the clubs?

Or is it something not as far away as in distance, or a little of both.

Lets say, for now, a little of both. Now onto Z-SPAN

About 10 days ago after my trip to the doctor I got a call on a cold Thursday evening as I lay in bed, sleeping pill taking affect, and dosing off, I answered. It was Ang, and she was Xmas shopping for her friend Aaron. She was hungry and I actually felt like getting out for a drink so we met and went to Tower and the to Ranalli's for food and spirits. After a couple quiet ones, we went to her car and she presented me with a belated birthday present. It was a badass coffee table book on comic book art. I was thrilled, so we shot back to the comforts of her lair and chilled quietly watching South Park and Jon Stewart on her Tivo.

Friday I came home changed and did a few things and then we went back to her place where we preceded to play the Doors Collection DVD rather loudly to the dismay of her neighbor, went to visit a friend of mine down the street and came back and played like 2 mad children. It was goofy, childlike and fun at the same time. It was release and that is a good thing.

Saturday came and Krzytoff the singer and my friend for BILE called. His band were playing the House Of Blues with Mushroomhead, Twisted Method and Dope. He asked me to come early since it was and early show and we could spend some time hanging out. He put me on the guest list plus 4 and we planned to meet up the following afternoon. Being I don't really care for the other bands it was bound to be a good time seeing them at the HOB again and hanging out and making it an early night. Yeah right. With those guys and myself it's never an early night.

So we did some running about and around 9PM or so went to her friends party where they do a gift swap and celebrate whatever it is that non traditional such as myself do this time of year. The party consisted of a rather small gathering of people unlike the massive insanely maniacal events I host or otherwise occasionally succumb to. I ate more than my share of sushi, to which by now you all know I'm a sucker for, and some other delicacies and indulged in some libations that were made for me or I made for myself. I had a great time and met some really cool and intelligent people. I feel as though I my have made a few more friends. There is something to be said about conversing with people who can speak on your own level. Agreeing on politics, not being offended by use of language and actually being able to bring something to a conversation is something that I, a guy whose work within the confines of rock n roll, and when not with the talent, is within a demographic between the ages 18-24. The proof is in the photos which will be up soon in AZ and fiends 2004.

So I woke up late Sunday, noon 09 and about flipped. BILE would be loading in at 1PM and I hadn't eaten, showered, changed or anything. So we sorta rushed and sorta took our time. I made contact with those who were to either ride w/ Ang and I or meet us HOB. To make a long story short, we sent a long time looking for parking, fought the harsh and bitter Lake Michigan Lake effect elements going into the venue. Met Tony at the bar, Dietrich and Melissa soon followed. The tickets weren't at will call yet, so I went upstairs and backstage. This is where I was told BILE had some trouble with weather in Cleveland and would not be appearing. So I gave my All Access pass to Tony, bid my friends and others Farwell and then we ended up eating at a wonderful Tapas Bar called Cafe Iberico downtown and it was refreshing, fulfilling and about as tasty if not superior to any other Tapas Cafe I've indulged in.

So as bummed as I was that would not get to see BILE at the House Of Blues again, and spend time with my friends in the band thus avoiding the paying public and people who are not quite who they think they are, or want to be, I still spent some quality time, sipped sangria and ate like the fucking PIG that I am.

So that's what I've been up to for the most part. No rock n roll of which to speak, the industry is pretty much shut down till Jan 4th and me, well, I'm going to spend tonight cooking chili and watching movies with a cool chick and some cool cats. But fear not reader, for I AZ will once again bring out my alter ego at RICHMA$ Thursday night. I hope to see you there. Once I struggle through the hardship that is known as Xmas, a time of year where people like Fonzie (see Happy Days Christmas episode) and I spend knowing we're alone. I will be out to play again on NEW YEARS EVE where Marazene are performing at a private party and you will either be invited, and see it first hand, or you will read about it here.

Talk to you soon. Till then be safe, party hard yet responsibly and live strong and shout at the devil. DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!!!

Merry XXX MAS