AZ's Diary of a Damned Man

The messy, Grego and AZ Fiasco

After waking up to temperatures of minus - 1 and a long painful day of
arguing with SBC for 4 hours it was time for Grego to pick me up and worm
through rush hour traffic to the Art Institute where we would be
broadcasting Messy Stench's internet radio show which had callers from
Sweden, Australia, Indiana and Chicago along with listeners everywhere. It
got off to a bad start because prior to 6PM we discovered the new Fashion
Bomb CD (www.fashionbomb.net) would not play in their antique CD mixer and
neither would an 2 year old disc from our friends Singine.

We endured and began to deliver 2 hours of the finest filth in music and
chatter. This was a truly X rated show in every sense of the word. We played
Lords of Acid, David Allen Coe, Kid Rock, Nashville Pussy, Type O and many
more and we picked from what the extreme right would consider offensive
objectionable and downright obscene tunes. But it was all in fun. Does
anyone remember fun. We talked a lot about AVN, relationships past and
present and plugged the bejesus out of the upcoming Sunwheel Psychedelic CD
listening party March 12 at Liars Club. Free booze y' all.

I think the thrill of the Expo ended for us after the first 48 hours of
being dunked in a sea of silicone/saline, collagen, and gaping orifices and
we have been pretty tired of talking abut it to everyone who looks at the
event with a wink wink nudge nudge. Seriously as decadent as it sounds it
was about business. G-Spot and I have never had a problem meeting and
acquainting ourselves with beautiful specimens of the opposite sex.

Nico brought us some nice greasy pizza to eat on the way home and after
braving the 2 degree temperature right off the lake and paying the $22 parking fee we were out of there.

And the cold isn't making my back feel any better, as I am out of violin I'm hoping I'll obtain some codeine later to aide in curbing my discomfort. The age of daredevil antics and jackass like activities have finally gave way to rest and relaxation. Though in the summer when the extreme trail biking and canoeing season is upon me, I'm certain to accrue a few more injuries and hopefully no burns this year.

Hey Jeff W. We're dragging you back to Cleatus Land. Yee Haw. NNNNNNNNGGGGGGG

Thanks Messy for having our wild asses back on the show.

Bitter, Brutal and Bleak

For those of you fortunate enough to be elsewhere this January, I must once again remind you that Chicago winters are bitter, brutal and bleak. And last evening was no different. I got an email last week from Johnny Kelly drummer of Type O Negative. He has been jamming with an LA bar band called Happenin Harry and the Haptones.

The line up also includes a few guys from Guns N Roses. Last night they had a last minute gig at Double Door so Greg and I dropped by to say Hi prior to a late night meeting with Gene and Paul from Fashion Bomb and Gary from American Motherload. They weren't in but after hearing tehy were getting tattoos I recalled Johnny's email and shot over to Tatu Tatoo and caught Johnny and Dizzy going into Pot Pan. We hung out for a few and made it right on the money for our meeting at Liars Club. I wanted to make sure he got a copy of Gregs Sunwheel Psychedelic CD. I was cool seeing him and we worth braving the cold.

Drank some shots with Shawn Glass of Soil ad some other cool cats and got out of there.

My back is still whack and I'm now on Vicodin. Luckily I have Direct TV now and since I'm still "supposed" to be taking it easy it gives me something to focus on or fall asleep to.

Speak of the diablo I gotta lay down. That's it till next time. -AZ

I'm back, but my back ain't!

Yes I am back, in a way. I am online again and am working out the bugs in my
new service and server. I should be fully operational in a few days. I sure
have missed being online. I am on a dial up till my DSL is installed. Talk
about being and feeling spoiled. I loathe dial up and it is now a necessary
evil till I am completely installed.

My back was thrown out over the weekend and I have been laid up for the last
2.5 days. I am still in a lot of pain but am moving around now. I have
several meetings later tonight which I cannot afford to cancel or postpone.
I've never been in such an incapacitated state due to lifting. Age catching
up. Time to quit being a jackass.

Being offline also means a lot of catching up to do. It is not like being on
vacation. This was an elective change but one of the wisest choices of my
life. More on that later.

I did a really big update last week that got lost on my former server and
none of you got to read. Kim Fowley called and I phoned him back and we had
a great talk. See www.kimfowley.com Kim is looking for the new Guns And
Roses to back financially and to produce and figured if anyone new who that
talent would be I would be yours truly. Well, unfortunately as much as I
wish every day there is a band that could fill those shoes they are not
showing up on my radar.

Well it's time to bolt. As you can imagine I have a lot to catch up on and
gotta run.

Bloody Kisses

AZ

Colder Than A Well Diggers Ass

I'm Mister White Christmas, I'm Mister Snow, I'm Mister Icicle, I'm
Mister Ten Below ...7°F Partly Cloudy Feels Like -7°F with the wind chill.

It's a slow news day and it seems that a MAJORITY of the entertainment industry has now taken today as a holiday. So I'm digging deep for news kids. - AZ

In the spirit of the Chicago Jan. chill, (and what a dire news day it is) here is the result of a little research I did this morning.
Witch's Tit Not As Cold As Expected

by Michael Genrich

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- A new study, conducted by researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, has found the heat capacity of witches' tits to be significantly higher than previously believed.

"For years, the public has assumed that the breasts of witches maintain temperatures at or around the freezing point of water," said team leader Phillip McCracken in a telephone interview. "Through a series of revolutionary experiments, we have been able to determine that they actually achieve an average temperature of 72 degrees Fahrenheit."

The researchers do not currently understand why witches' tits -- while certainly warmer than expected -- are nearly 27 degrees cooler than the tits of normal humans.

"Unfortunately, theory behind the thermodynamics of thaumaturgic mammaries is sadly under-investigated," added McCracken.

Magdalena Chancerly, the president of the National Organization of Wiccans in Salem, received the news of the scientists' findings with enthusiasm. "You can only hear 'cold as a witch's tit' so many times before becoming offended. I, for one, am glad to have my breasts associated with the comfortable climate of spring instead of the chill of winter."

FREAKSHOW

Pathetic.

I guess I must put in my 2 cents on the Michael Jackson arraignment today.

So we all know this guy is his own worst enemy. But the way he's trying to make it appear that all these people are rallying for him. Okay, granted the freak does have many fans and supporters. but it has been reported that he paid for and hired the charter busses to take the fans to the courthouse and he did throw them a party to get the numbers there. That's buying your fans as far as I'm concerned. So obviously calculated. Simply a political campaign.

Furthermore he hired his own cameramen and directed the video of his arrival, the "gathering" and his entry to the courthouse.

I want them to unseal that report dammit. I want to know what they were looking for and what they found. Why. Because I want to see this freak go DOWN! He's a repeat offender and I hope hope hope that the victims do not go for the money this time. These kids are scarred for life and I don't think money can repair that.

Freak has the nerve to be 21 minutes late for his first court appearance. And after like he was facing nothing he does a stupid dance on his SUV. One would thick his attorneys would make this guy chill out however, we are talking about Michael Jackson.

I can't believe the Nation Of Islam would back a guy who doesn't even want to be black. Not till now anyway. And it's so obvious that he's hiring OJ and Puff Daddy attorneys to save his ass.

I remember back in 82 and 83 when I'd just comment on him being gay and everyone would defend him. Think back in 82/83 homosexuality was still taboo. Then as it became more and ore obvious a lot of people would admit he was gay but not that he was a molester. Yeah that marriage to Lisa Marie fooled me. How convenient.

So with it said, I'll wait till Friday the 13t of Feb and the set a date for this child molester. Maybe he should run for office as the President of NAMBLA.

This guys wacking off little boys and I have friends who have cancer. There is NO justice.

My Friend Shannon

Shannon Gross

I want to share with you part of her personality by publishing this. Here is a excerpt from that letter.

For all of you who do not know, I have cancer. I found out this past Saturday that it has rapidly spread throughout my body. I have been living a lie, initially telling some of you that I was merely suffering from a blood clot. It was obvious that people would notice the loss of hair. I falsified this information so that people would not pity me or treat me differently. I wanted to make my condition seem less serious. But, it is time to come "clean." I have been debuting a set of cancer jokes and some people at The Improv (as well as other venues) are upset with me; that I decided to divulge this information in such a manner. I feel extremely guilty. But what did people expect of me? I am not going to walk around wearing a shirt that reads "Hey, I'm dying. How was your day at work?"

Anywho, I deeply apologize to any of you that I hurt by doing so. I don't expect anyone else to understand or relate to my situation.

AVN ADULT ENTERTAINMENT EXPO "Photographical Evidence at MK Online"

Aurora Snow and me

I am freaking tired. No rested for the wicked they say and isn't that the goddamn truth. By now you have all browsed the galleries from the AVN show that Kev and I worked hard on last night. Granted the captions are not up yet but you can still take I the sea of babes and celebs.

Grego is adding his 2 cents to the story of our trip to the show last weekend in Vegas. it is a long one. If you really want to read it you'll have to take more than 5 to do so. We documented a bevy of anecdotes for you all.

Me and Gauge. Cute looks 12 but is actully 12 inchs tall

Speaking of Wicked, Daniel Metcalf at teh studio sent me four DVD's from the vaults. If I know anything about their rep and their history they'll be films I can watch with what's her name? That girl I'm with most of my free time. HEHE. (She gets it)

Tuesday Metro sent me a box of screeners. For now I'm burnt out on smut. But hey. What a thing to be burnt out on.

Had lunch at Heaven On Seven with Bob today. I slipped Wicked Pictures.com sticker on the back of his wheelchair.Place has the best coleslaw on earth.

I'm trying to help Prong put together their spring tour. My idea is to pair them with Ministry.

Enjoy the photos everyone.

I had to get this photo with Vince Neil since Motley is the band I can't stand. Girls Girls Girls

Vince helping AZ look slim

Fashion Bomb, they won they won they won A MAJOR AWARD. They WON! And they are making sure we all know it. Freaking preverts. They get to playing all ages show next month. Sweet FB and their underage fan club. I love fucking with those guys. Teenage Fan Club. Okay I gotta stop before I get a big platform boot up my pooder.

Tomorrow Jacko goes to court. No cameras in the court room. Bummer I want to see that fairy cry again. if he goes down at least the fans always have those glam boys Fashion Bomb to adore. I'm not disclosing which one likes little his but his middle name is TENT. Oh man I gotta stop. I hope you guys know I'm busting your balls. Besides now I'll get some interesting email.

Monday is a holiday but we're working as always. I want Jim Morrisons birthday off.

Can you readers tell I'm slap happy?

One more AVN photo.

Monday MK will salute African Americans in underground Entertainment.

FOR THE RECORD

Devon and Jesse Jane from Digital Playground

It is too cold for me again. Though not subzero as it was prior to my recent jaunt to Sin City, I certainly am having to adapt to being covered in layers, caps, and gloves. Just two days ago I was coatless and warm and surrounded by hundreds of porn stars and porn mongers. Somewhere I fit into the "industry folk" genre these days.

It was a far cry from a heatwave, but considering the temp here in our lovely and clean city the coldest time of the year, it was a welcome distraction. The weather not the girls preverts!

I'm still compiling raw facts and data for my official story on the event. I need to get one of the MK Interns to begin transcribing the 20 plus interviews we conducted. My piece will be complete tomorrow and tomorrow evening Kevin, Greg and I are getting together to upload the images into several galleries for our AVN section. So there will be plenty of eye candy for you all to drool over. It will be worth the wait.

Pardon our dust we are under construction.

PLEASE STAND BY

Enjoy The Teasers

I know from your emails and phone calls that you are all very interested to hear all the details on our trip to the AVN Expo and Award Show. I have only had about 2 hours of sleep in the last two days and I am still going through the huge amount of material I have brought home.

It will take me a few hours to compile all the information for the story and I have to download nearly 200 images from Gregos camera. And there are many photos to scan as well.

So fear not, by this time tomorrow I should have something for you.

I do need to state again that the people in the Adult Industry are the best people I've worked with in my career as a journalist and publisher. And the talent was very cordial as well. I simply cannot say enough good things about them.

Thanks to everyone at Digital Playground for their hospitality.

To be continued.....

Slap Happy Pappy

What a day! I've been awake for 29 hours now. I'm home, it's cold and I'm the living dead.

The plane trip home was hell. Fat Albert sat between Grego and I and after the fatass ate for 2 hours he fell asleep on me.

Taking a nap and then I'll compose the tale of an incrediable weekend.

BA BA BOOHEY!

AZ

Leaving 4 La$ Vega$

Prepare to follow a true decadent tale of debauchery starring two rowdy
hell-raisers who also happen to be hard driven rock n roll business men,
on their quest for a pot of gold.

Tonight Greg Miner and I are leaving for Las Vegas to attend the 2004 AVN
Adult Entertainment Expo and Award Show. I echo Luke Ford (www.lukeford.com)
by saying "Reports will be constant and confusing from Sin City. Beware. I
may not make it out alive. Many of you will be happy. Some of you sad. Life
is a gamble."

This will be my third visit to SIN CITY.

In preparation I've purchased 6 hours of blank camcorder tape, and 15 hours
of blank audio cassette tape, packed my leather and best rock n roll
clothes, shinned 2
pairs of boots, gathered various inserts of porn DVD's 10 Sharpies, a 30
page itinerary, a tape recorder and camcorder, 100 magazines and 1.5 liters
of vodka. Greg packed a bottle of Jack, digital camera, software and a spare
photo chip to aid in documenting our business venture.

We have many meetings and interviews lined up including, Devon, Jesse Jane,
Bridgette Kerkove, Skeeter Kerkove, Aurora Snow, Pat Myne, Ron Jeremy,
Ginger Lynn, AnnMarie, Kelly, Gauge and Britney Foster and many more.

For the record we are VIP's and are allowed access when the public is not.
With that said we will only be shaking hands with vendors, professionals in
the business and their respective studios, and not fans of the work produced
by the industry.

We will be reporting on this site daily and if we can manage the task will
be posting photos of our activities as well. Nevertheless, I will be
updating the site daily with details of what we are experiencing
at the 2004 AVN Expo and Award Show.

Friday night we have VIP for Jill Kelly's private party and Saturday VIP for
Seymour Butts "Family Business" ShoTime Box Set Release party. We also
have other parties that we are invited to, however we may or may not attend.
Feel free to check the site over the weekend for all the dirt as Greg and I
metamorphous into out collective alter-egos Grego and Jymbo.

As I finish the final preparations of compiling advertising specs
and proposals I'm drowning myself in the music of The Doors
Box set, and I can't think of a more independent, anti-establishment,
politically defiant and socially deviant band to get me in the mood
than the spirit of Jim Morrison and the psychedelic stylings of the
band that he fronted. I am almost ready.

Talk to you all tomorrow. - AZ

We've Got Mail

Letters Section Added

-AZ

SUBZERO In Chicago

I woke up to the Psycho Weather woman Michelle Leigh on Fox News telling me it was a whopping minus 3 degrees out today.

But I fear not as I know it is going up to 17 today. That's the Chicago winter for you. Still I prefer it to our 3 months of rain we get in the spring. Every year it's the same old song and dance. "We need the rain we had such a dry winter." Yeah, the fucking ground was frozen.

Kevin is working on getting all of the enteries back up on the site. It's going to take about 10 more hours on his end. I made the terrible mistake yesterday of accidentally deleting all of the news achieves and all of the diaries when I attempted to pull of one of the two stories about Art Asylum I posted 2X. I guess that's why I have pros to do that. I was getting ahead of myself thinking I could do it. Kevin has taught me so much so far but I still have a lot to learn.

That reminds me of something I was thinking about the other day when business was a slow and I had lots of time to think. Two of the most significant people in my life at this time were two complete strangers to me a year ago.

Kevin was in Baton Rouge and happen to read something I wrote about the Voodoo Music show on sillygoth.com and he moved to Chicago and we've become good friends and he's done amazing work on the site and is still finding ways to make it better, more user friendly and easy for me to update. And for years I was being told I wouldn't be able to. The guys is busy enough at his day job and he finds time to help me out. The mofo sure is fun to drink with.

And Brigette, even tempered, tolerant, and beautiful. Definitely the most desirable woman to me in every way. The thing I can't figure out is why I NEVER noticed her at any of the old MK ULTRA events she attended. She told me she saw me all the time and we were in many of the same room together for many shows and events. I don't understand how a girl like that flew underneath my radar. Nevertheless, she is right when she reminds me it wasn't time. But she sure knew when it was. Even when she was in graduate school I guess she wrote to me a few times inquiring on an internship. Now that would have been interesting. That was back before I took on my first intern I believe. Untill April 2o 2003 Easter, I had no idea she even existed.

Now for something completely different.

So as I prepare for a nice warm business trip next weekend with Grego, I am wrapping preparations for that excursion. I will be updating the news and the website daily from our location. We have a press room complete with phone, fax and PC/internet connections. And if we get it right we will be posting images from the event. The last days of Rome come to us once a year and this is the first time I will have attended the decadent festivities, in a place only a couple rabble rousers like Grego and I could build a bigger business structure for Alex Zander Enterprises, and MK Magazine. As excited as I am I am also getting a bit nervous. This will be by far the biggest convention I've ever gone into ready to shake hands and make deals.

I talked to Tommy Victor yesterday (of Prong), he plans on asking Glen Danzig if he can tag along and that way we can hang out. I also hear Gene Simmons, Drew Carey and some others are going to be there. The Devil only knows what kind of kinships I'm going to establish while there.

Grego is going to take a stack of his new CD out as well. I'm going to help whore that thing as I am so good at. Greg describes it as my "in your face style of doing things". Speaking of the devil, yesterday we went to the post office and shipped out nearly 200 CD's and press kits to press all over the world to promote his disc. (www.sunwheelpsychedelic.com) He hired Fly PR from Los Angeles who I turned him onto. They really have the connections to work his platter of guitar concoctions designed to satisfy even the most discriminating palates.

In my last entry which seems lost in cyberspace I had attacked a portion of the internet using populace for anonymously slamming of certain friends of mine who have a great band. It's pathetic how people who don't even who or what they are talking about get their kicks by jumping on a bandwagon for no other reason than to be super paste eating cyber geeks. And when it's so bad it pisses me off than you cn bet I will and can retaliiate. So I had Niki D'Andrea address the topic in her SUCK column in teh next MK.

Well as I wait out the cold and prepare to have to drive into Indiana to pick up my Motor Booty from her 3 day 24 hour round trip drive to the south, all I can say is all of you true believers and supporters of my mission, prepare for the best yet. You want more Sex Drugs and Rock n roll, more sleaze and cheese and more flash and trash, you're about to get your wish. You are the audience for who I have struggled to entertain for almost a decade now and I have finally been invited and welcomed into the purveyors of all that is unholy.

Talk to you soon! - AZ

(your letters and feedback are always welcome. Just click on the contact us link)