AZ's Diary of a Damned Man

Kevin and I have been slaving on this new issue and it's almost done. Greg's article is called "There's Thunder In the Temple Of Sound" and it took several hours to tweak and make look good, but it was worth it. It's pretty long.

Rich Madden of I LOVE RICH is interviewing Gene Simmons. perfect. I wonder if Gene hangs up on him.

At the last minute we got Corey Parks x Nashville Pussy and now in DIE HUNNS, and Texas Terri in the new issue.

Well hope you like the new look of MK. It's getting to be exactly where I wanted it to be for a long time. You can thank that trip to Mammoth Caves for inspiring it I'm still riding that high out.

Playing the new SKINNY PUPPY right now. It's amazing. They sent me 5 copies. One for the car, and one for the house, and 3 for good friends and writers. I'm so glad they added a second show. Now I can see them 2 X and everyone else who didn't buy tickets when I told them to can see them.

Next week is a BIG week. 3 shows in row, photo shoots and video shoots.

Last night I went to the new Hard Rock Hotel downtown. it wasn't bad but as I had learned to expect it was light on the rock n roll and a haven for afterwork suits. Nevertheless, Afra who does Ministry's website met me, and we went up to the fourth floor were we were treated to Hord'oeurves and Johnny Walker Scotch. Afra and I have never met face to face till now and by the time we had our second drink we were whisked away wit four other guys into a candle lit room where a guy was playing guitar. We were each given a seat ad a woman bowed before each one of us and massaged our fingers and hands as one was behind us rubbing our necks, shoulders and backs. After about 20 minutes of pampering they took us up to a suite where a man in a kilt gave the 6 of us a presentation of Johnny Walker Blue Label and got to sample the nectar. The Blue Label; retails for about $200 a bottle. The two guys next to me said they bought a bottle in St John for $115.

After about 15 minutes we were dismissed and I caught up with Mike Jakubow from Rebel Radio and Moe from Interscope. They were on their way to their massages, and we agreed to meet up in the hotel bar.

Afra and I hung out and a very relaxed and impressed duo joined us and we chilled in the hotel bar for awhile and ran up Afras tab.

I haven't heard from my new friend to day so I assume he didn't make it into work. cant wait till he tells Al and Angie about the night he met Zander. - AZ

I'm supposed to be receiving an advance of the new album any day now. This is a strange trend. Starting with Psalm 69 I've been getting advances of MINISTRY albums for over a decade long before the street date. In fact I had FILTH PIG (still my favorite MINISTRY record) somewhere around 4-5 months before it came out. This should be a good week for tunes.

Today I should be getting 5 copies of the new SKINNY PUPPY disc, and speaking of the great SP, it looks like we'll be taping them for the MK DVD when they play here in June, as well as taping the interview. Puppy live completely changed everything about what I look for in music and a concert. It's pretty embarrassing to admit what I listened to and was seeing live prior to that. Make no mistake, I've always been a punk at heart, but I was into electronic music as well. But the awful thing was some of the 80's metal bands I saw. That all ended when I become absorbed with The Sisters, JAMC, Love and Rockets, MINISTRY and of course the great Skinny Puppy. My favorite SP offering by the way is Too Dark park. This was all before the NIN revolution.

I'll also be getting the new Gene Simmons solo this week, and it better be impressive because I'm not excited about it at all. And I was once the biggest KISS fanatic. I've read both of Gene's books and am not impressed at all with the caricature he's helped turned the legacy into.I'd rather see them do a no make up Revenge era line-up album and tour than this retro charade. This will be the second time I've passed on seeing them live. I've seen incarnations of KISS over 50 times. I'm done with it...for now. Though That Symphony DVD was AWESOME. Rich Madden of I Love Rich fame, will interview Gene for us.

Friday I sent a box to my long lost best friend who I found in Texas. I haven't seen or heard for the guy since graduation 20 years ago. From 13-19 we did all the crazy shit together. If I dated a girl, he dated her best friend. it seemed that when I broke it off and met another, he ended up dating her best friend as well. We both saw KISS together for the first time and the very last concert he saw was with me back in our senior year of High School with our best friend girl friends. We skipped school together, learned how to drive and roller skate (in that order?) and got drunk together the first time. At 18 we both got our ears pierced and my father flipped and called me a fag. So I've been trying to find this fucker since the 80's and when the internet became available the search continued. well, last month I found his sister who I last saw when she was 3 years old. She had no idea who the fuck I was. But 5 min later he called me from Texas where he's a truck driver and races stock cars. He's been married for 15 years to the same lady and has 3 kids. I explained what I do and he wasn't surprised. So I sent him 4 issues of the magazine, DVD' s of my JBTV appearances, a Type O CD and 3 porno's. I'm anxious to hear what he thinks of the material. When I asked him if he was still a long-hair and he said no because he's still in the National Guard. In High School he had the long hair and I had the spiked punk hair long before it was socially acceptable, (for both of us) and we played the most horrible pranks on each other regularly. I was hoping to meet up w/ him in Texas but he lives 400 miles from where MINISTRY in working. Bummer.

I hooked All Systems Halt up with the first contest ever to record at Trent/Nothing's studio. The deadline was last week and I know its a shot in the dark but at least they're in the mix. The contest ended last week and I have no idea who else is in the running, but this is the first time anyone outside the very small circle who will be permitted to work and record with the Trent-ster. Contrary to what people may think or believe, Nothing is a record label and the studio that Trent built isn't available for rental or recording by anyone outside of the master himself,and a couple of friends. Not the way that Chicago Trax or Smart Studio have been. Manson did Anti Christ Superstar at Studio 1 in NOLA.

All Systems Halt are playing at The Double Door on Sunday May 2nd as part on Emergenza. I gotta do that after staying out at Newbombs on Saturday night. Whhhhoooo Eeeeeee.

We created a logo for the adult DVD review section called FAST FORWARD and lined up Chris Curry and Kim breeding JACKHAMMER JIMMY which is the rating key for the new section. It's really funny, and adds new "spice" to and old formula.

I'm really excited about the new ViXXXens logo. It's the concept I've had in my head for 3 years but it took myself and two other guys to make a reality and to get exactly what I've been looking for. It's going to be out on the t-shirts we're doing for girls and we're doing an MK Logo Shirt and a Got MK? shirt. Invisible are having the shirts done as a promo tool for the new DVD we're doing with them. There are also going to be some Point Of Sale Posters. I'm not sure if I mentioned but the first disc will be on sale everywhere in August. It looks like there is going to be some pretty cool promotion for this venture.

A few last minute interviews are lined up for this issue: Gene Simmons, Al Jorgensen, Texas Terri and Corey Parks formerly of Nashville Pussy who is now in Die Hunns. Jesse Jane did a few last minute questions and loves that we're doing a cover of her. So we'll have plenty of female content in this issue as always.

We're going to work up 3 cover concepts and then vote on which one we will release. I thought I'd share with you all two of the mock up's that are still in the process of design. I really like the look but still want to whip out the other to really have something stunning to chose from.

We have decided to use Exile On Mainline by Chemlab as the new theme-song for the website this summer. It will be on the new flash movie which is nearing completion.

Before I forget, I got a letter from a girl who knew Dylan, one of the kids who helped kill all tosepeople at Columbine, before killing himself. She verified that the jocks gave them the nickname "Trench Coat Mafia" in the school cafeteria when they's torment them, and that neither Harris or Kelbold listened to Manson or KMFDM, but were big fans of trance and techo. I guess the mofos who created the rumors need to blame The Crystal Method or Tricky now. Gee, what fun is that.

Not to make light of it, but that music sure woud make me want to kill myself.

Speaking of Starbucks, I did meet a new intern from the DePaul program at Starbucks next to the old MK office in Lincoln Park. And she's aware of the Trixie phenomenon. Her name is Jozenda.

I saw Kill Bill 1 finally and liked it, and saw the remake of Texas Chainsaw which made up in suffering where it lacked in originality.

The Black Label Society release party at The Liars Club was an amazing success. I finally hooked up in person with Carlos Burnett who is an executive on Nick Cages movie that they are shooting here in Chicago. Carlos played in the Byrds and later became the tour manager to the Runaways. So it should be no surprise that the great Kim Fowley hooked us up. I also met Barry Paddington (sp?) who heads up the Steppenwolf Theatre. I guess I'll be hanging with these guys a bit more and also Nick is coming out to a show with us but I am not saying which one it is. Carlos was amused by all the Trixies who came in and were pitching shit fits over the music. They complained and whined on end and couldn't take it till 11 PM when the event was moved upstairs. In LA when you absorb yourself in Entertainment these types yuppies etc are not even on your radar. I mean they barely show up on my, it's really like two different worlds. But they do spend their money on the product that we provide which is funny and a nice vicious circle. That's what I think.

STUFF:

1) The long over due issue will be out in May. The adult content is now in place so the publication has gone through a massive change. The look is sharper and the content is even more varied than before. We haven't really taken much out, we've just added to it.

2) We are putting together a video which is the very first solo video from Ron Marks/Subsonic who used to be the lead guitarist for Celtic Frost. The song is Dream American and it's a rocker. This is Ron's second solo album. Shooting is in Chicago over May and June with myself directing and the shoot is being produced by Solomon Mortimer who is doing the movie It Came From Trafalgar see the website www.itcamefromtrafalgar.com (a lot of people are unaware that I took film and theatre classes in college)

3) Speaking of the movie It Came From Trafalgar, I will be making an appearance in the film. Others starring in the film include Hank Williams 3, Scream Queen Legends Brinke Stevens and Linnea Quigley, Gunnar Hansen (Leather Face from Texas Chainsaw Massacre), Butch Patrick (Eddie Munster) Conrad Brooks (Plan 9 From Outer Space) Bill Hinzman (Night of the Living
Dead). Christopher Curry the longtime MK contributor and author of the great HG Lewis book is doing the cover art and the liner notes. This is the second movie I will have been in, the first being an indie film I actually saw on the big screen titled "The Mercy Seat". I played of all things a cop who kills the two stars at the end of a crime scene.

4) Last month Martin Atkins asked if I'd be interested in doing a new line of DVD's for Invisible. We met yesterday and by August the first in a series of MK Magazine DVD's will debut. It's going to be very sexy and have lots of great music that other productions are afraid to boast. We were talking about cranking out four of these a year and will be tour backstage pass into our world. I'm waiting for the paperwork and yes, it looks as though I'll be a signed artist of sorts. Again I am amazed and admire Martins dedication to underground entertainment and arts. So look for hot new MK shirts and posters advertising this baby.

5) I spoke to the Tower records magazine consignments last week and was informed that worldwide only 2 issues of the Messy issue didn't sell. So that is a new milestone for us. Tower figures that they can sell 50% of the product they order from us. this time is elapsed that. I will get the covers back and will have Messy sign them and frame them. Maybe it calls for a giveaway.

6) We are doing a contest with Mofo Wear www.mofowear.net in the new issue and it's going to be very hot. Look for it.

7) Not to sound like we're bragging here but this stat only means something if we're selling a product and we do sell advertising space on the site. We are now getting a million hits per month and this is thanks in a large part to AVN which doubled our exposure since Jan and have done numerous articles on yours truly.

9) I am in the May issue of AVN Magazine as part of the cover story on Rock and Porn and it shook be on stands any day now. They are running a not so good photo of me but being that the article represents my views it all that matters.

10) They are filming Batman begins for 6 weeks this summer here in Chicago and you know I am going to try very hard to get a part and an extra.
It's now April 20th or 420 and the date marks several things. It's the five year anniversary the Columbine shooting rampage, (I was working at HBO where I met one of my very best friends Mr. Bob 'Newbomb' Hoeksema) that maniac Hitler's birthday, my dear friends Kevin and Sam's Anniversary (congrads), a year ago was Easter and the final date of the successful first leg of the United Tour which I sponsored and that was the night I met My Motor Booty Brigette. And who would have though that would happen after over a year of hell I was living. I certainly never saw it coming. But I sure saw it going hehe.

But for other people who are chronic dope smokers means something different. I learned this from the pot head who tried and nearly attempted to steal my life from me when she'd light up everyday at 420. (and that was AM and PM on many days) Today, April 20th, or 420, is an important day for stoners everywhere, It started as an underground "tea time" for potheads, and has become an important time in many people's lives who find the numbing high of the stinky weed. Some people even have a special alarm that goes off at both 420's, like they need another excuse to smoke dope. But the day 420 means so much more than the hour, it seems, as they take it quite seriously from what I understand is about planning, things that focus around marijuana.

But it's been a year since I've been around dope and am happy not to have to walk through it's nauseating stench. I know a rather large majority of my readers and friends do indulge in the smoking of the weed and I mean no offense it's just not for me. And the person I have referred to was just a hypocrital pain in my ass who had to constantly remind me of what a loser I am.

So this is what I've been up to. Thanks for reading and supporting MK!

Happy Anniversary Booty!

Hey yawl! I just got back tonight 10:03 PM from 4 days camping in central Kentucky and exploring Mammoth Caves National Park and Forest. Lots to share and lots of great pictures. It's been a long day, be back tomorrow.

Beneath a bridge above the muddy banks of the Wishkah River, a troubled young Cobain would come to escape his unhappy home and the persistent gray drizzle of the Washington coast.

"Peace, love, empathy," reads one message scrawled in graffiti under the bridge.

Critics describe 1991's "Nevermind," which has sold more than 10 million copies, as one of the decade's most important albums. Its biggest hit, "Smells Like Teen Spirit," remains a seminal expression of teen angst. Cobain brought the dark, driven sound of grunge rock to the nation, helped save the world from hair metal, and with a single line — "Here we are now, entertain us" — captured and captivated a generation that had grown bored and cynical about popular music.

I own the Nevermind album but as far as it being credited as one of the greatest albums of all time up there with Sgt. Pepper or The White Album, I don't get it, I never did, not then and not now.

The video and the single Smells Like Teen Spirit for me represents everything that is bad about MTV and radio and the mass media in general. I was sick of that song, and I always believed that there were 3 or 4 other songs on that album that were better. A song where I never understood the words was the voice of a new generation at the time. That is pathetic. Nirvana were to me just a mediocre band, at best, that made it. All it really represented to me was the backlash to hair bands like Motley Crue and Poison who dominated MTV up until then. It was just another trend, and not a glamorous one at that. And the really bad hair bands were overplayed and over rated as well. Overkill is what I prefer to call it.

There was never anything tongue in cheek about Cobains lyrics. They weren't a fun band to listen to, as they were live. One of the greatest moments in music history is at the MTV Video Awards after Kurt and Courtney traded verbal words with Axl Rose. And apparently Axl made a fuss, since he never had a sense of humor. During the Nirvana performance, either David or Chris was yelling "Hi Axl" over and over, and Chris tossed his bass up and it came down on his head.

Kurt Cobain wasn't the first rock star to battle addiction, but he was the fastest to disappear . Three years is hardly enough time to validate one as a legend. Who knows if Nirvana would have fallen off the charts or would become the victim of another passing trend and be has beens in the wake of urban music's domination of the media. It is very likely they could have become the same thing that they had helped turn watered down hair band cock rock metal into. It's not that illogical, infact it is probable but we'll never know.

It's too bad Kurt Cobain couldn't have become a better example to the kids who worshipped and idolized home, but like Sid Vicious, he has his Nancy in Courtney. And if you've ever read the book by Nancy's mother, Deborah Spungen "And I Don't Want To Live This Life Anymore", you'd see the simulates are horrifying right down to a young Miss Love appearing in the film. it's sad because if Kurt could have shed his demons including drug abuse and his wife he could have said to Gen X "Hey, I made it and so can you."

None of Nirvanas music celebrated life. It hailed angst as a party. It held negativity in high regard. And if rock n roll is a downer than I'm in the wrong business. There's enough of social unrest in real life, escaping into it as an artform is not fun. But that's just me and my favorite band is Type O Negative a band who does it in such and extreme way you can laugh at yourself later. Does that make me a hypocrite? Well, a bunch of long haired tattooed hippies from Brooklyn who are as lily white as they come singing "Kill All the White People" for me is fun. A learch of a sinner who could crush you in his bare hands, and has women throwing themselves at him screaming I Know You're Fucking Someone Else" offers comic relief to those of us who were distraught of the same shit.

My point is, life is tough and sometimes it simply sucks, but it isn't so bad that you can't get through it. To make a legacy out of fifteen minutes of shame doesn't make sense. And like the Sex Pistols "Near Mind The Bollocks" album, yes it makes a statement, but as far as I'm concerned is hardly worthy of being credited in the top 5 of all time let alone the top 10 or 20 for that fact.

Maybe after one of Kurt's failed suicide attempts in Europe on a tour that became postponed his estranged wife shouldn't have taken his child away and left him alone. Things may have turned out differently. Instead she rode on his untucked shirt tails and for a short while was a rock star herself. And where is Hole now? It's likely Nirvana would be in the same place. But we will never really know this for sure. But according to history of popular music over the last decade the smart money is on the trios popularity maintaining cult status at best.

Anyway, for the record the Rock and Messy stories were false. DAMN you believers, remember last years rant? Thought you would have caught on by now.

Yesterday was long and busy and cold. I was in all day till Zoran showed up at 4 and we went to Dorothy's where beer is only $1. I thought we were just going to be there for an hour or so and the next thing we knew it was 7 and we were wasted. Ron called cause we were late for practice Yes, it's official I am the new bass player for All Systems Halt. So somehow we made it over to the practice space, all the way over to Jefferson and Jackson and everyone was there waiting and we were fucked up. Now the basslines aren't the most challenging when it comes to ASH but I couldn't play for shit and Zoran was more fucked up than I was. So we took them all back to Dorothy's with us. The bartender Minella (sp?) said someone called looking for me. OOps, I forgot to tell Brigette so I called her and told her I was there before and was back. She was pissed cause Ron called the house looking for me and neither Zoran and I were here. But she knows to check Dorothy's these day. Once she found out what was up all was cool.

We chilled out till about 1030 when Grego showed up and took me and Zoran to Crazy Horse. For the record Zoran is a teacher and I have no idea how he goes to work the day after hanging out. However we haven't been out in months and the only time I've seen the guy is at rehearsal so I guess we were due. So this was Zorans first time at a strip club and he didn't seem phased. But you never know what he is thinking from the look on his face. For all one knows he could be plotting murder or of a teenage latina student, who knows. So we had a few over priced drinks when he go tithe brilliant idea to get a VIP room for the 3 of us. Who were we to argue? It was becoming obvious that this was his first time at a club like Crazy Horse and they were going to rape him of his tax return check he just put into the bank that was financing. This was his way of paying Grego back for the studio time he's giving us to record/master/produce a really slick demo.

Well the private VIP room is not exactly what I'd call private since there were other VIP's up there. But we felt fooled but were cool with it. Indeed we got teh VIP treatment and after sevarl lap dances better than you get downstairs we were ready to split, but no no no , there was a fucking $500 miniumum on top of what it cost him just to take us up there. So needelss to say Grego broke out his Visa and we were ready to rock n roll. And wth teh 3 of us in leather we stood out and got some very nice TLC untill a real star came in with his entourage, and where did they sit, NEXT TO US.

It was none other than H.I. McDonnough, Cameron Poe, Randall 'Memphis' Raines, Little Junior Brown, Ben Sanderson, Sailor, etc in other words Nick Cage. Not Nick Cave you cyber goth nerds, CAGE! So guess who got the attention then? Well it didn't last long as one of the executives for the film he's doing began rapping to me. He asked if we were in a band and I said as a hobby and that I worked in the business. He introduced himself as Carlos and said since the sixties he worked as a road manager before doing films and he was Mr. Cages personal assistant. So we all sort of made one big table and we surrounded by chicks and getting more than, well your typical treatment you get when you pa 20 bills to walk in the door. I really felt bad for the poor scmucks downstairs.

Nick was really cool. He's into comic books and metal. I always thought he was just into Elvis and I was surprised to hear he nags out at the Viper Room, The Whiskey and Key Club. I told him about my stunt as my impersonation of River Phoenix while in LA playing dead on the sidewalk in from of the Viper and he looked me dead in the eye and said, "He was a good friend of mine." I about shit right there, even with the beer and tequila in me I felt my face turn red. The he laughed and said, "That's pretty funny though, you say you put that on your site? " So I gave out my cards to everyone and the said they'd check it out. SWEET! I also made sure everyone got a copy of Gregos CD, we always make sure we're well armed with them on or persons where ever we go.

Zoran kept taking girls and a couple of the film entourage into the private bathroom, so I can only imagine what they were doing in there. But they were laugh it up and having fun. So who cares?

There was one cute dancer who was rather "enhanced" who was talking to me, Carlos and Nick and she asked if she could get pictures with us. No shit, her name was Trixie I swear! But she didn't look like any Trixie I've ever seen. But I haven't seen any who were nearly naked. She took out her disposable camera and got some evidence that will never appear on this site even if she does keep her promise to mail me the duplicates. I in turn promised to email them to Carlos. Lets just say the photos are better suited for AVN, and I don't think Nick Cage would like to have these images made public. They may show up in my memoirs in about 10 years. But for now, if I get them, they are in the vault.

We had so many girls hovering around us I don't think anyone downstairs had any company with them. And as it goes, some of the drinks were starting to get comp-ed.

Now, it was getting late and everyone was getting buzzed. Champagne after beer and shots has a kick, and for some reason it kicked my memory in. For some reason as I sat there I didn't even remember he was married to Lisa Marie who was once married to Michael Jackson. But as cool as everyone was getting along and as much really twisted talk about Dirty Sanchez, and donkey punch and jelly donut stuff as we were saying I thought it was open forum. So I'm not going to say who, but someone said something about Jacko's sloppy seconds. Well, that was it. SHIT hit the fan. What was laughter turned into violent yelling and I cannot believe the cops didn't come. After about 15 minutes of security diving the room and bus boys picking up some of the crap that got thrown around they actually turn the lights back down and let us take our seats and resume what we were doing. But it got pretty scary. And my memory is a little fuzzy after this. But nothing wakes you up like a pissed off Italian with huge arms who could crush anyone in the room. After awhile we were all laughing about it, but si y mi amigos were careful about what we discussed.

Next thing we knew it was nearly 4 and they said last call. By the time we finished our champagne which has a knack for keeping the implants around, walking out we noticed everyone from downstairs were already gone. Security said they clear out the downstairs first. With the light killing my eyes, I used Zorans cell to call home and tell Booty I was staying out and was okay. No surprise she didn't answer and was certainly deep in sleep, so I left a long weird message. And on the way out we were each given temporary membership cards good till June 1 with free VIP access.

A couple of the girls wanted to hang and a few of the crew guys who were off today invited us down to their suites at the Hard Rock Hotel. I didn't know Chicago had a hard Rock Hotel. Grego was up for it and Zoran instead of calling in sick actually went off to get ready for work, and I know that rocker is hurting, but he didn't look like he was ready for sleep. So Grego and I loaded a few "people" in the car and followed the others who got picked up in a few Lincoln Town Cars, and filled the up with some "guests".

With the sun coming up the room was full of party people and Grego and I got to fulfill a fantasy that not even AVN provided to us in Vegas. I can't go into detail but it has something to do with one of the last scenes of "Requiem For A Dream". Where the hell is my camcorder when I need it?

Grego dropped me off at home around 8AM, and I'm a little frazzled like I've had too much coffee already. I still feel slightly intoxicated, Booty already left for work and this apartment is too bright. It's a good thing I stayed out cause she is cool enough to understand it's better for me not to come home and wake her up when I've been rocking n rolling. So I'msure things are cool on the home front.

I have a bunch of phone numbers and promised this weekend I'd bring out Messy, Gia, Disco Bitch and Angeligue Starr to hang out with Nick, Carlos and the rest. And I will have my video camera for that one. There's a few metal bands playing we can take them to see this weekend. I WISH IT WAS FRIDAY ALREADY! And we cantake Motor Booty with us.

Another interesting phenomenon associated with V.I.P. celebrityhood is the V.I.P. reflection effect during which anyone associated with the V.I.P. becomes a sort of V.I.P. in their own right such as the son of the V.I.P.
Guitar player for the V.I.P.
Girlfriend with the V.I.P.
Accountants of the V.I.P.
The maid, the cat, the best friend