AZ's Diary of a Damned Man

Everytime the guys came on and it looked like they'd be playing, something would go wrong and they'd walk off stage. Finally BUZZ seemed to have it under control and the band came on and in the dark stage with plenty of fog and did some classic numbers. JACKY came on for the first time in a long time but something seemed off. I guess about 1/2 hour into the set the taped went wacky and the band pulled and Ashlee Simpson and walked of stage. It almost looked planned.

In retrospect being that I have seen TKK more times than I can count, this was about the worst performance I had ever seen any band pull in a long time. If ever, and I've seen a lot of concerts.

We left the club and head over to Crobar for MARAZENE's after show party. When Grego and I parked, "yes we had our O's proudly displayed", we saw Nikkk and Dietrich getting ready to pull out in their ride. But when they saw us, they quickly abandoned the idea and went into the club with us.

We walked up to the VIP area and saw group of friends inside. Jen who I hadn't seen in months was there and Suzan aka Candy XXX and us all had a grand reunion. But before we knew it, the lights came on, it was last call and time to go. Oh and the bartender was clone of T Bone. That guy is EVERYWHERE!

And then it was Friday. I was tired and still feelign teh tail end of recovering from this flu bug. I had blown off 3 events in five nights and really didn't feel like going out Friday, but the band was far to important to pass up.

Two years ago next may when I went to see and meet Nina Hagan for the first time, I was introduced to a little 11 year old guitar player/singer by the name of KRISTY ROSE. Her father gave me her CD's and the next day I played them and was very surprised. This girl and her band, TWISTING ROSES really rocked, especially considering their ages. Marc picked me up and we went to The North beach Club at 8 where we were greeted by JOHN ROSE, who is Kristy's father. he seemed like a really sharp business man who was down to earth and possessed a good grip on rock n roll as well as the business side of things. I made arrangements for Dan Locke to join us and shoot the show. At 9 PM the band took the stage and despite some technical problems involving the bass drum and peddle, the band ripped through a 45 minute set of original material and a few covers. KRISTY now 13 really has her game together. Exuding confidence and skill she may as well have been Lita Ford cause she really knows her chops and has incredible stage presence. She played her leads without blinking an eye and at times sounded a lot like JANIS. I soon discovered after chatting with her that it was one of her influences. Without a doubt I was in the midst of the next phase in hard rock. KRISTY can play and she owns a growl in her vocal that is all but forgotten these days.

Stay tuned for a complete review and upcoming interview. You'll be hearing a lot more about TWISTING ROSES here. Photos should be posted Monday. Till then see www.twistingroses.com and www.kristyrose.com

It felt good to be back to home before 11 PM. I finished the first season of 24 which I had been watching all week with Angie and got a good nights sleep.

I walked around with Tommy a bit more and collected some after show and guest passes for some friends and went back to the Foundation Room. Greg as hungry so we went downstairs to the restaurant and on the way got marc and Kris into the Foundation Room. I promised Kris I'd get her close to Glen since she's so in love with him. I should say in awe cause she is Marcs companion after-all. And besides, all that matters is he knows better. The four of us sat in the restaurant and we chit chatted, And I saw Paul and Laura come in so I got them upstairs. Then I gave Sue and Rodney their guest passes and we all kind of split into pairs into our respective opera boxes. Greg and I were in the "friends" box which is where we were for MINISTRY. After the third band went off we went backstage, saw Tommy again and Jerry who plays bass now and Johnny Kelly who also drums for Type O Negative. It, without going into a bunch of boring detail, was like a big family reunion. Looking back, I'd worked with type O, Danzig, and Prong since the beginning of my career, so we've formed a bit of a bond. Tommy and I became really good friends when we were both stranded in Indianapolis. Greg who was in Electric Hellfire Club 10 years ago, opened for Type O on their first big headlining tour. So we were in out element, again. THANKFULLY.

We got in our booth and net Johnny's girlfriend and other friends of Tommy and Johnny (Karen, Kim and Cris). We were having a great time and the band was on fire. There was a lot of energy and the sold out crowd was really into it. AMAZING that even though Danzig hasn't had a really big hit in the last decade, when we arrived 2 hours before showtime the line was already around the block. This just proves everything I've believed in. You don't need to move product on MTV or Clear Channel owned radio to sell out concerts. The real proof of the power of truly good music is in evidence like this. The band played 5 new songs and hammered us with a slue of older and very impressive material. It was like the good ol days. Blues based hard rock with a tinge of the dark side.Our new friends bought us some drinks and Greg bought a few more and in the show was over so we grabbed some space in the Foundation Room and this was about to get nuts.

The Foundation Room this night was unlike any night I had ever been within her walls. It was getting really crowded and I saw rusty Nails and introduced him to Paul, and then all of Danzig came in and we were drinking and laughing it up. Then I struck up an odd conversation with Disturbed front man Dave Draiman who had a pair of identical twins in tow complete with boobage apparent. He was flaunting them and I can't really blame the guy. He fronts perhaps the biggest band in modern day metal. A few minutes later I'm tapped on the shoulder by someone I barely recognized, it was Frank Cavanaugh of Filter or I should say formerly of Filter. We chatted he took me over to Geno and then I took Frank over to Tommy. See, Frank was in Prong for a minute some 8 years ago. Then the guys from Soulfly came over to say hello. A few of them used to come with Shaun Glass to hear me spin at LIARS CLUB in the old days. So it was a room full of talent.

Greg and I left to meet some people at NEO and the drinks were so strong at the House Of Blues we were hardly able to handle the concoctions they prepare for us at our favorite club NEO. I was very surprised to see Kevin there and he introduced me to a few new friends and I lost Greg and managed a ride home.

Then I awoke with a bad strain of the flu bug and it had me laid up. So I missed Sisters night at NEO as well as the Dimebag party. And I'm not sure if I can make it tonight to either Double Door or the Thrill Kill Kult show.

I am almost too shaken up to write, or work today. I could not sleep a single wink last night. I am shaking due to insomnia/sleep depravation. I have induced so much sleep over the past week to prepare for this week and having an event every night, two on Thursday, that I think my body is in shock.

Nonetheless, I think I was being sent a message of sorts last night.

This is really sad. HST has been a massive influence on me. Yesterday I was thinking about changing my profile of people I'd like to meet to HST and Sonny Barger, cause I usually always meet my heroes. Then last night I took out the 2 DVD set of Fear and Loathing to play in the bedroom so I could fall asleep to the interviews. It wouldn't play. And I didn't sleep a wink at all, nit a bit all night. At 6:09 AM I looked at the TV and thought, I'll get an hour. I had a guest who had to be up at 7 so he could catch a plane. Then at 6:11 AM I hear the news. I yelled out loud FUCK. Too weird man, like I knew something wasn't right.

No more details yet. I'm waiting. That is totally out of character for him. Of course the conspiracy thing comes to mind, the government is shutting him up because he's so outspoken against the ultra conservative right. he really let it out last year on MSNBC when he did an interview with Tim Russert who was obviously uncomfortable with Hunter and didn't know quite where to go with him. For a media journalist like Russert, you'd think he would have done his homework on his subject. The book "Kingdom of Fear" had just come out, and I had already read it.

And that's also ironic, last night or or early morning around 2 AM "Meet The Press" was on and I recalled how Tim Russert was confused and nearly scared by HST.

This is more than coincidence with me. Thompson had a lot on energy within him, it was like his passing, sent out a huge power surge. I don't know how else to figure it. Eithe rthat or it's the old family curse rearing it's ugly head again.

I know that me incorporating myself into my writing is solely his doing, his influence and the world can squarely place the blame on his existence.

I do know this. I'm drinking tonight in his honor.

- Alex

I was initially introduced to the works of Hunter S. Thompson in 1988 when Lori Levy gave me a paperback copy of "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas" and it became a turning point for me at a time that my life was at a huge junction. In fact she was really the very first person who really believed in me as a writer, and encouraged me to do so. A little over a year later I was a free lance journalist embarking on my on "gonzo" journey as a writer of rock n roll misadventures. Lori introduced this ol country boy to a lot of things that I never had the chance to thank her for.

As years came to pass I became a collector of HST Hardback First Editions. In 1993 I got the Action Figure Comic Strip book by Doonsberry creator Gary Trudeau that came with the Uncle Duke aka HST action figure which is still my mascot to this day. (and you all thought it was a 16 oz bottle) That same year Cathy Wrona bought for me a book which I've had to buy twice since, Hunter: by E. Jean Carroll. Every time I'd loan it out I never got it back. One of those people I loaned it to was Tom Tretter who claimed to have loaned it to Dave Blake who I never saw again. Ironically, Tom figures into the near end of this story. I got everyone hooked on the very first film based on HST's life, "Where The Buffalo Roam" starring Bill Murray. It was actually Lori who first showed me the film. I wanted to see it when I was 16 by my father, and in his reasoning I see why, would not permit me to go to the theatre to see it. I'll never comprehend why he condoned seeing Cheech and Chongs movies but Hunter Thompson was out. Maybe it was because I always wanted to be a writer, and maybe because HST was a real life personality and successful writer.

So I had tuned my brothers in Pittsburgh onto the Thompson lifestyle which was maybe not such a grand idea. We often aspired to mimic the authors inebriated manner. We dubbed the act of slurring and acting out drunkenly to being "Thompsoned". Often we would say, "Man, you were so Thompsoned last night." the same way we'd say, "Man, you were so Morrisoned last night."

I continued to work Thompson stylings into my own writing after I started MK in 1995, 10 years ago to this month. I would begin and continue to work myself into the story, which I was a part of to begin with. I think it reached it's boiling point in 1996 when we went on the road with MACE and 3 of us combined and compared tales into one which was titled "Fear and Loathing In the Midwest", by Alex Zander, Leigh Marino and Elaine Thomas. And ever since, I would make sure if I was there, I would be in it, and many times in front of home and/or TV cameras. For my career it has worked out in my favor, many times to the amusement of you the reader or viewer. Like it or not, but I have become a significant part of the nightmare.

So I continued to pick up our beloved heroes work, and those who felt close enough to me would occasionally offer me a gift of a first edition or new release, all of who would be best sellers. In 1998 just prior to moving to Chicago, Heather and I went to see "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas" starring Johnny Depp at the only theatre in Indianapolis that would show it. And even after our break-up for a Christmas gift she bought me a volume of HST's work. Even in the death of relationship, his work meant that much. (Thanks HH)

In 1998 the long awaited first novel by Hunter was finally published. "The Rum Diary" continues to be my favorite book by Thompson. I read so many letters than he wrote prior to the publication of his breakthrough, "Hells Angels", about his frustrations with trying to get it published. He wrote it in San Juan in the late 50's when the author was in his early 20's. I've red it 3 times since, and the film of it has been in pre production for several years, and will star, of course, Johnny Depp.

To this day I have a shelf-full of HST books. On nearly everyone one of my plane trips I take a volume of his work with me. His collections of correspondences is something a reader can pick up at any part and start reading. many of them his rants against local TV stations for not providing programming his then young son could watch. His son Juan named for San Juan the focal point of his very first novel. A good many of the ravings of a intoxicated lunatic suffering from lack of sleep due to ever imposing deadlines. And a lot of them his unapologetic social viewpoint of our political system. From Thompson, I read the true account of the 1968 Chicago Democratic Convention and riot. From HST I got an education from an unbiased point of view. What the reader chose to do with that knowledge was another thing completely. I, speaking for only myself, took it to heart.

In the summer of 2003 I wrote "Fear and Loathing in the Land Of Oz" based on me and Greg tovars roundtrip to see Ozzfest and the parties at the lodge the night before and in the parking lot the next day. And my style of itemizing everything that is induced into the human shell for consumption came from HST, though when people copy me on that, they have no idea where it came from. The same imbeciles who when they anonymously call me a "loser" in emails spell it "looser". I hope in my case that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery when it comes to me, mimicking the styles of Thompson, but when I am mimicked, it is simply, I consider, pathetic.
In response to my long an decadent tale of our adventure at Ozzfest, Tommy Victor of Prong (Danzig) wrote to me after he read it. He simply stated,"Zander you are the next Hunter S." Not even close but I appreciate the reaction.

On my expeditio to Alaska while in a sea of ice, I read Sonny Bargers book. "Hells Angel" and there were many references to HST, and though they had a very big falling out and never mended any fences, Barger does hail Hunter S Thompson as a great writer. I also read another collection of rants, "Better Than Sex" (1994), which was penned right up to the election of Bill Clinton, and the aftermath of Bush 1. I recently found another copy of Hunter the biography by E Jean Carroll. and I'm not loaning it out to anyone for any reason, except for maybe Grego. He'd get a kick out of it. A first edition by the way, of course.

The last new book I read of my favorite authors work was "Kingdom Of Fear". I'm not a sports fan so I do not read his sports reports in any form. And when the book came out HST did what I consider a hilarious publicity spree on the media. On Conan and on Letterman, they got him, on MSNBC Russert did not. Russert was visibly uncomfortable with Hunters presence and manner, almost like he didn't know what to do with his hour of time. I loved it, I enjoyed seeing a political newshaired TV boy in the midst of our hero.

Last January, Tom Tretter, through whom I lost my first copy of Hunter to, the one Cathy bought for me, insisted on meeting me in Las Vegas. He said, we HAVE to do the Hunter and his attorney. I think I was certainly Hunter while Tom played to my, well lets just say, best interests. But the combination of the two of us in Vegas was a tribute to Hunter if not for anything else. Little did we know it but we were paying our resects. Next year we shall rent a red convertible.

Last night, something didn't feel right. I couldn't sleep, I was antsy. And before I laid my head down to bed, I went to the office and pulled out the copy of Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas that I had never seen the second disc with commentaries and more hoping I would fall asleep to it. Oddly it would not play and I was too tired to fuck with it. At 2:30 AM I still could not fall asleep, something wasn't right. So I laid there tossing and turning. Frustrated. Then at 6:09 AM NBC 5 News came on and I said to myself I would be able to get about an hour of sleep. I had a guest who I needed to wake at 7 in order for him to get to the airport. At 6:11 AM I heard the news, Hunter S Thomson had taken his own life. I went out to the computer looked it up and put the story on my website www.mk-magazine.com

Details are sketchy. I am waiting to hear why etc, just like all of his other admirers. The thing that really hurts and bothers me about this is that, as much effort as I've made to meet and sometimes befriend a good many of my heroes, I didn't get to meet Hunter Thompson. You never ever know. You just never do. I won't let Sony Barger slip by that easily. I have all summer ahead of me. And I have to take my mothers ashes out to Arizona anyway.

This morning I have had a lot of emails regarding it from people who know me well enough to care that this has hit me pretty hard. I thanks them and I thank my little brother who is usually too busy for me, for his letter this morning.

Tonight Hunter, Jymbo and Grego drink to you. Where ever you are the party is just getting started. See you up around the bend.

To make it even weirder, last night to help me sleep, I had taken teh directors edition of Fear and Loathing into the bedroom to play in order to fall asleep during interviews. I couldn't get it to play.

This is all too fucking weird, and not a coincidance. Not at all. Something was telling me. HST was a strong force in my writitng, a powerful force. Something with that much energy gives off a helluva vibe, no matter what you believe in.

Sometimes I feel as though I could snap the way the character William Foster/D-Fens played by Michael Douglas did in Falling Down. Has anyone else ever felt that way?

I miss the way a lot of things used to be and feel. I miss my friends in Apocalypse Theatre, I miss real rock n roll, I miss when Police brutality wasn't only regarded as a hate crime, I miss the way I used to be. Today more than anything, I miss riding my bike in the Chicago summer, traveling down Lake Shore looking at all the pretty girls. I'm missing it in a bad way.

But I'm looking forward to this summer more than any other. If for any other reason to make up for the hell that was last summer.

Tomorrow I'm meeting with RICH and working on the PR strategy and regional tour. The new album comes out next month and it is amazing. Extremely rocking and the most professional thing they've done. It's something that surprised even me. You'll all love it. And they got a good international distribution deal. The video was shot and should be available to see online very soon.

I gave out about 50 CDs to the patrons and met a few new fresh faces and hyped up next weeks Danzig aftershow party. I'm getting pumped for the show already. And to hang out with Tommy Victor again is what I'm most looking forward to.

In all the gang at NEO showed me an awesome evening and it was the most fun I've had solo in a long time. Thanks Dann, Skinny and Charles. See you all next week.

Meanwhile Erin and Aaron and some of the other club higher ups continued bringing us drinks, champagne and women. And in the midst of the traffic and free flowing beverages, we would watch the girls bumping and grinding onstage and in front of us, and once in awhile they would bump their booty's into a guys face. I mean, there was much more contact going on here than at Heavenly Bodies. And it was becoming extremely obvious that a majority of these damsels were under the influence of ecstasy ("x" or "e") which made it very interesting as an observer. My brunette friend who had now let her long mane down off of her head and down her back posed the query, "What are you smiling at?". I replied that I found some people very interesting to watch, like the voyeur I can at times be.

By 3 or 4 Am I think we went through 8 or 9 bottles of champagne and numerous other libations. I was introduced to the owner of the club later on and sat with Erin and Aaron off and on. I also was escorted though the crowd and to and from the restroom like I was royalty. Greg even commented he felt like we were P Diddy. An analogy I find hard to swallow, but nonetheless, comprehended the comparison.

So, in retrospect, I'll concur that we'll be going to TRANSIT a little more often and I am working on them to bring the girls from METRO INTERACTIVE to the venue. That would mean Kelly Erickson, Brigette Kerkove, Britney Foster and the rest for a weekend promo visit in Chicago. Now just imagine my cookout that Sunday!

When we had enough, we excused ourselves, traded hugs, kisses and handshakes, and walked back to his place and I crashed out on his sofa.

It was pretty packed by the time we arrived at the stroke of the witching hour. We found a seat in the back of the club and he had Jack and Coke and I had a MGD Light and the trend continued. Over the next few hours we worked our way to better seats as the crowd began to thin. And we were very quick to notice that the girls were unusually and annoyingly pretty pushy. We had both gone out to the club with the notion we weren't going to take private dances and we were firm on that. These chicks weren't hearing it. They would approach you, grab your arm or by the hand and ORDER you, "Let's Go!" Now for people like me and the El Guapo's of the world, that's like sex without foreplay or at the least any "dirty talk". There were several ladies who were undesirable and we would not want a dance from if it were free, I tell you that my fiends. One "lady" who just didn't get it, and continued to approach us, had a huge mole on her midriff that I was afraid if she didn't pluck the hairs from it would look more like a big ol spider thus resulting in many a customer slapping her on her belly in attempts to save her or themselves from the bite. In the immortal word of Buck Russell as played by the late great John Candy in Uncle Buck, "Do yourself a favor, take this quarter and do downtown and get some rat to gnaw that thing off of 'yourself' "

We ended up talking to some girls later on who we discovered were from the Czech Republic and Russia. The last time we were there which would have been one year ago this Memorial Day the majority of them were from Poland, thus giving the impression that the owner has some sort of "thing" going with that whole ensamble. And these girls, the poor things that they are, work 6 nights a week and never EVER see downtown Chicago. I cannot imagine the horror of living and working in the US for a year and being stuck in some one or two bedroom apartment with a bunch of my friends or co-workers and not getting past the outskirts of Chicago especially in Elk Grove Village. Yet from everyone we've ever spoken to that works at the club, that is indeed the case. Sounds more like slave labor.

And for teh record, both Grego and I always stick out in this place. We really are completely out of our element there. The look at us as if we were aliens. The drinks are well worth it though, BIG TIME. The only thing more economical is free. I looked the club up this morning and a recent review read: "Face it the majority of HB's customers are a bunch of blue collar redneck hillbillies." and I really cannot disagree. As a matter of fact, in the past, we were told in that establishment that "long hair" was out of style. I would have to say that the first ladies of the Adult Industry disagree, and I could care less anyway. Fuck fashion and fuck trendroids. Hell, that's what I've come to expect from those in the NW burbs. I may as well be in Gary or Indiana for that matter.

Despite it all we stayed till last call and left when told they were closing. We both walked out to the G-Mans car with smiles, high fived and left Heavenly Bodies for the first time without doing so under protest. And that is reason enough to go back out there.

NOTE" If you're into Eastern Euro girls, this IS the place to be. They' seem to have a monopoly on them.

Heavenly Bodies
1300 S. Elmhurst Rd., Elk Grove Village
bikini / topless (private dances)

$10 cover charge - all you can eat/drink on weekdays.

I fell back to sleep sometime after 5 AM. That was after hearing about George W's massive cuts to Medicare, Farms, Education, and AmTrack. This will cost over 2000 jobs in and around Chicago and lack of transportation for millions including students and jSIN. Of course there is another 200 billion plus being allocated to the military, not including war funding. WHAT THE FUCK. Hey, you voted for the prick not me. And because of the current demonstration the only story bigger than the Super Bowl yesterday was the cleaning up of the commercials. Fuckin' A! I think there are other more dangerous evils at work here, like WAR! 40 years ago Paul McCartney and his band were considered acid dropping anti Christian rock n roll heathens and now he's the best thing they can come up with for half time entertainment. In 1980 I believe it was he was jailed for marijuana possession in Japan. Oops, brain fart. Well at least it wasn't a horse fart, right?

The good news got this morning was the man with a vehicle for his legs, jSIN let me know that the new season of the Seymore Butts reality series on SHOWTIME is starting, "FAMILY BUSINESS". Keep your eyes on the show kiddies. Yours truly and some other MKer's will be on there as they filmed us last fall with the man and his crew while they were here in Chicago. A big THANKS to the wonderful Carly for making that happen. As you may have read before we had lunch and diner and partied with them at TRANSIT all in front of the cameras. It was decadent and debaucherous. Talking about filming anal sex and squirting orgasms and more over eats, was a meal worthy of filming. Though the wait staff were in awe. The waitress at dinner walked to her server and whispered, "I've never heard talk like this." (see photo above of us eating lunch with Seymore Butts and Mari Possa at Ranallis)

It warmed up and I did a lot of walking around. Met Kevin for lunch on Saturday and we ate crab Legs at a killer lil' joint called Half Shell (Orchard and Diversey) that I must have walked by hundreds of times.

We spent the afternoon doing some shopping for the kid and went back up to my fortress of solitude then back out for coffee at Dappers. He ate, again, and I got a caffeine high before we went out to TRANSIT to cover their Mardi Gras party. I wore the demon mask I picked up a few years ago that was custom made for me. We got in free of course and drank free all night. After 11 PM Aaron began plowing us with bottles of champagne as we sat in the VIP area as usual. He's a killer host and always makes us feel like stars. LT from the House Of Blues Foundation Room was there, either working or something, but he was around. A gentleman as always. it was good to see him outside of the HOB. The event was huge the mixture of loud music, endless free booze and an ever increasing amount of scantily clad dames was starting to take it's toll. We made an escape and I woke up feeling like I was at Mardi Gras.

I suppose the greatest disappointment was the lack of mask and any originality surrounding masks worn by attendees. As usual I take events with themes a lot more serious that most others, who are simply, "too cool to participate". For the first time at TRANSIT I felt "out of my element". I guess maybe it was my mood, who knows, I just wished for more participation.

I walked around the neighborhood and then watched movies all afternoon Sunday and then went over to Angie's and made dinner. Her: Cajun Chicken. Me: Mashed potatoes.

It's Monday and I'm back on the clock, as always. It's very gray and depressing looking out. I badly want to go for a long walk but there will be better days for that.

Hope you all had a great weekend, Talk to you soon.

I'm willing to sell them for $8 each or 3 for $20. If you would like to buy 10 by any chance, I'll sell 10 for $75. THESE ARE NOT AMATEURS, THESE ARE TOP SELLING TITLES. (Also includes ALL Asian and Latino Ladies as well) Regular price on these range from $39 - $70.

Checks and money orders only. MUST BE 18 YEARS or OLDER and email scan of photo ID.

Postage for any amount will only be $3.85 for PRIORITY MAIL.