MK Magazine Reviews

STATIC X

July 26, Chicago The House Of Blues

Review by Greg Tovar, images by SuZn Murawlski

Well the rain finally came pouring down and the temps finally dropped a little bit. But that wasn�t going to stop fellow Metal Heads from getting their chance to see the mighty Static-X and others at Chicago�s House of Blues. This being my fourth time seeing them rip shit up I will tell you, it only keeps getting better.

As the familiar and thunderous intro of �Bled for Days� came roaring out of the P.A. the crowd began to go into a frenzy eagerly waiting for Wayne and the boys to start thrashing. When they got on stage and started their musical assault the party was well underway as the crowd danced with their beers in the air and the Heavy Metal Hurricane (A.K.A The Mosh Pit) began to unleash its wrath on those weak posers standing around.

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It got even more intense when The Wisconsin Death Trippers thrashed out cuts from their new album titled �Start a War�. Songs like �I�m The One�, �Dirt House�, and �I Want to Fucking Break it� kept the audience satisfied while classics like �I�m With Stupid�, �Permanence�, and �This is Not� created a huge sing along fest.

Between songs Wayne Static kept showing his appreciation to the fans by toasting his drink with band mates Tony Campos, Nick Oshiro, and Koichi Fukuda and the audience and afterwards throwing the empty cups at the energetic crowd. Wayne also reminded the crowd to enjoy the show by yelling, �Every night is Saturday night when I get on this stage�!

After the always aggressive set of heavy riffs, great dance rhythms, and growling vocals Static-X disappeared into the darkness leaving the sweaty and bruised audience dying for more. Chants of �One More Song� and �Static-X� filled the smoky theatre.

All of a sudden Static-X quickly returned to the stage to pound out the infamous Evil Disco Anthem �Push it�. The crowd went insane and danced frantically like someone blew crack smoke out of the theatre�s ventilation system!

�Love Dumpling� kept the crowd jumping up and down like the wild spiked hair on Wayne�s head and the last song � Get to the Gone� reminded the audience that this band remains one of the best live metal acts today.

For a great time and maybe a couple bruises I recommend, no, I dare you, no; I THREATEN YOU to check out Static-X. When they return to a city near you. RAAHHH!!!

The G.I. Executioner

Directed by: Joel M. Reed
Starring: Tom Keena, Vicki Rocimo, Angelique Pettyjohn, Janet Wood, Brian Walden
86 minutes / color
1975
Released on DVD by: Troma
2.5 stars

�The G.I. Executioner� (a.k.a �Wild Dragon Lady�and �Wits End�) recounts a week or so in the life of Dave Dearborn. Dave is a �Nam Vet-cum-investigative reporter-cum-wealthy philanderer who operates a flea ridden discotheque that floats in the Singapore harbor. Consequently, the attainment of attractive females for fun and games is not a problem for Dave, nor is finding his butt, and his friends� butts, in a world of trouble.

]]> Dave is offered the gig to find and bring down a defecting Chinese scientist who is somewhat in cahoots with the unscrupulous and very rich Mr. Lim. Lim is also the lover of a cutie-pie named Mai Lee. Mai Lee and Dave were once entangled in a heated romance that abruptly ended much to Dave�s dismay and despair. Big surprise. Anyhow the chase is underway and dead bodies begin racking up just as quickly as illogicalities in the storyline.

The film continues to run its erratic course as we learn that Dave is a former drug addict, mercenary and undercover �nancy.� The latter was a role that he took on in order to help do away with a famed and powerful homosexual. Mai Lee eventually murders her lover Mr. Lim at the scene of a shootout that resulted in several other killings. Then Ms. Lee succumbs to Dave�s clumsy sexual advances and fucks him (off screen) amongst the bloodied corpses. Lovely.

Bleary-eyed in the wanton afterglow of his most recent skin on skin acquisition, Dave barely gives resistance to the bald-headed oaf who jabs a drug-filled needle directly into his throat. Awaking, presumably many hours later, Dave finds himself, and Mai Lee, bound and shackled from the ceiling of his former gay lover�s fancy abode. Supposedly he had killed his old partner, but clearly �mercenary Dave� has shitty aim and missed his quarry altogether. The scorned man lived on to orchestrate a ridiculous and highly unlikely series of events, in order, to win his old beau back. It didn�t work and more victims pile up to the film�s cluttered and confusing conclusion.

�The G.I. Executioner� is a spy, espionage, murder and mystery thriller that really isn�t that thrilling at all. The picture was directed in 1975 (some accounts claim 1971) by Joel M. Reed, the man behind the very bizarre, though fairly incompetently made fan favorite �Blood Sucking Freaks.� Admirers of the aforesaid will probably find very little use for Reed�s 1975 outing, except maybe to satisfy their curiosity as to whether or not Reed could actually direct a quasi-professional motion picture. Honestly, I doubt they�ll care.

Just the same, Reed does deliver capably, under an obvious monetary stranglehold that firmly plops his film in its cheap and trashy exploitation seat. �Executioner� is worth at least a one-time viewing, as it is entertaining and its gonzo narrative is oddly charming. What�s more is that the production values are heads above the technical ham-handedness of Reed�s more popular �Blood Sucking Freaks.� In the end �Executioner� is not likely to garner a cult following nor any kind of adoring �Midnight Madness� treatment, either. �The G.I. Executioner� is simply not slick enough for mainstream audiences nor is it sick enough for the blood and guts crowd. - Christopher Curry

Time Barbarians

Directed by: Joseph John Barmettler
Starring: Deron McBee, Joann Ayers, Daniel Martine, Louis Roth, H.S. Smith, Guy Fury
97 minutes / color
1990
Released on DVD by: Troma
1.5 stars

�Time Barbarians� is a low-rent �Conan the Barbarian� with all of the compulsory trimmings; swords, sorcery, warriors, forces of evil, crystal amulets, kings, wizards, muscle men and near-naked barbarian babes. In a feeble attempt to pull his film away from the glut of others, that are completely superior to his, director Barmettler threw in a time travel subplot that drives the film from inept to sheer silliness. Scenes of our leading man hulking along the sidewalks of L.A., in a loincloth, getting into fights with a local street gang calling themselves, of course, The Gladiators is a sight to behold, but it certainly doesn�t save this amateurish mess. Barmettler went on to direct �Witchcraft 8.� - Christopher Curry

The French Sex Murders

Directed by: F. L. Morris (A.K.A. Fernando Merighi)
Produced by: Dick Randall
Starring: Anita Ekberg, Robert Sacchi, Howard Vernon, Barbara Bouchet, Evelyn Kraft, Rosalba Neri, Peter Martell
88 minutes / color
1972
Released on DVD by: Mondo Macabro
3 stars

Famed film producer, and all around sleaze-meister, Dick Randall tossed this slice of steamy Eurocult into the, then, very popular Giallo ring, and soon came away a winner. None-too-prolific F. L. Morris (this being his third and final film) was brought in for the directing duties and a cast to end all casts was assembled to round out a rather stylish though derivative murder and sex mystery.

As with most films of this type the plot is so chock full of improbabilities that it nearly borders on tedium. The narrative simply twists and turns itself inside out to the point of complete absurdity. However, some of the key elements and highlights include: a jewel heist, an all-knowing-all-seeing medium, a brothel, hooded killers, a mad scientist, incredibly sexy women, incest, human eyeball fondling and a professional Humphrey Bogart look-a-like!

]]> With all of this swirling about, the meandering storyline easily takes a backseat to the obligatory naked female flesh and gory set pieces. Topless hotties, beheadings and stabbings abound. Oh, and the groovy soundtrack by one of Europe�s finest, Bruno Nicolai, is worthy of a mention as well.

Producer Randall was famous for selling his movies to various markets across the globe and so the film was, not so surprisingly, host to a mint of alternate titles, including: �The Bogeyman and the French Sex Murders,� �Murders in Paris,� �The Paris Sex Murders,� �Casa d�appuntameto� and �Auge des B�sen.� Mondo Macabro did a wonderful job on the extras that include an essay by Pete Tombs about the film and its distribution, a 30 minute documentary on producer Dick Randall, 2 deleted scenes and a stockpile of stills, posters and various press materials.

By: Christopher Curry

Frightmare

Directed by: Norman Thaddeus Vane
Starring: Ferdy Mayne, Luca Bercovici, Nita Talbot, Leon Askin, Jennifer Starrett, Jeffrey Combs
86 minutes / color
1982
Released on DVD by : Troma
2.5 stars

�Frightmare� follows a group of movie buffs belonging to �The Horror Film Society� as they mourn the recent death of their favorite silver screen star Conrad Radzoff.. Radzoff�s character is drawn as an obvious nod to an aging Vincent Price coupled with a Christopher Lee accent and a very nasty Bela Lugosi-like disposition. Soon these mourners become so overzealous at the notion of finally meeting their idol (live or dead ) that they actually steal his body from its tomb and retire to an old sound stage for a night of thrills and chills.

]]> Radzoff�s devotees party with his stiffened corpse, then they drink to him and even dance with him. All behaviors that the snobbish dead boogieman would, no doubt, find most appalling, but once his admirers� party begins to die out it�s time for Radzoff to get down to some serious business.

Through the joint efforts of his wife and a medium, Radzoff is reborn and he parades about the sound stage murdering his biggest fans in a slew of novel and inventive fashions. A floating coffin, of all things, makes contact with one of the girls and smashes her head and face to bits. A young Jeffery Combs is decapitated and, in short order, loses his right ear to a hungry raven. Apparently Combs was not cast in this role due entirely to his acting talents but because they needed a brunette to match up properly with the prop head. And in a scene ripped straight from �Blood Feast� one teenager has his tongue torn clean from his throat.

More and more accolades to horror films past and present rear their heads; posters for �Frankenstein,� �Zombie� and �The Hills Have Eyes� can be seen looming in the background. Also, many scenes will be familiar to cinephiles as the film spins out with a series of monster movie salutes to, �Dracula,� �The Abominable Dr. Phibes,� �White Zombie,� �Phantasm,� �Phantom of the Opera,� �Wizard of Gore� and �Phantom of the Paradise.�

�Frightmare,� not to be confused with Pete Walkers� 1975 Euroshocker of the same name, was shot in 1982 under the more apt working title �Horror Star.� The film boasts a creepy enough atmosphere with jarring sound effects that work quite well with the kooky killings. The downside includes a cast that �hams it up� to the point of absurdity and the print, used for this DVD, is incredibly dark and grainy. �Frightmare� was banned in Iceland. - Christopher Curry

Make Your Own Damn Movie!

Directed by: Lloyd Kaufman
12 hours
2004
Released on DVD by: Troma
3.5 stars

�Make Your Own Damn Movie!� is the digital companion piece to Lloyd Kaufman�s book of the same name. From this set you�re to learn everything about independent film making, from proper sound and editing to marketing, camera work and whoreing yourself out for the film�s budget. Spanning 12 hours and 5 discs are interviews with directors such as: Herschell Gordon Lewis (�Blood Feast,� �2000 Maniacs�), Stuart Gordon (�Reanimator,� �From Beyond�), Bill Lustig (�Maniac,� �Maniac Cop�), George Romero (�Day of the Dead,� Dawn of the Dead�) and those nut cases who made �South Park,� Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

]]> A color-key chart is included to help maneuver about this labyrinth of advice, anecdotes, lessons in special FX and general all-around tomfoolery. To top this package off right the Troma team included a special parchment to be signed by the student at the end of the �Make Your Own Damn Movie!� class. Of course your Troma Diploma, once signed, will be suitable for framing. Whether you�re an aspiring film maker or a sloven couch potato who immediately scours the Bonus Materials of your newest DVD, �Make Your Own Damn Movie!� has gobs and gobs of information and entertainment to offer all. - Christopher Curry

Pigs

Directed by: Marc Lawrence
Starring: Toni Lawrence, Marc Lawrence, Jesse Vint, Paul Hickey, Iris Korn
80 minutes / color
1972
Released on DVD by: Troma
3 stars

Character actor Marc Lawrence has been a familiar face to theater goers since 1932. He has appeared in everything from �A Dangerous Game� and �Diamonds Are Forever� to �Marathon Man� and �From Dusk Till Dawn.� Lawrence sported an unforgettable mug that seems to have been chiseled rather poorly from an old weather-beaten tree stump, but that �face that only a mother could love� has landed the actor in well over 200 television and movie roles. Still, Lawrence wanted to try his hand at directing, and with that he gave us �Pigs.�

]]> Perhaps being a director wasn�t all that Lawrence had up his sleeves in 1972 as he cast his daughter Toni Lawrence in the lead role, killing two birds with one stone so to speak. �Pigs� was to be the spring board for both his directing career and his little girl�s acting pursuits. Unfortunately, neither amounted to anything; Daddy Lawrence went back to character acting and Toni wound up marrying and divorcing Billy Bob Thorton in the late 80's, but the little film that they made together sure is a doozie.

Lynn escapes from an insane asylum and finds herself working for a broken-down codger named Zambrini. Zambrini has a roadside caf�, rooming house and hog farm that lures transients and other forms of drifters, vagabonds and road dogs. Lynn�s cute enough in her miniskirts and is soon being propositioned by the male clientele, but her sexually abusive past leads her to murder her suitors. Old man Zambrini has taken a fatherly liking to Lynn and decides to aid her in disposing of the evidence by feeding the cadavers to his hogs.

Zambrini honestly cares for Lynn and he feels that he is doing what is best for her. It�s interesting to note that the relationship between Zambrini and Lynn never crosses the sexual line as most films of this time period might have explored. But then both characters are real-life father and daughter and anything other than what was portrayed on the screen might have made the film unbearable.

Lawrence�s direction and style must have been seen and appreciated by the likes of Tobe Hooper and Wes Craven, as it so beautifully encompasses the drive-in aesthetics that both directors would employ for their debuts, �Last House On The Left� and �Texas Chainsaw Massacre.� �Pigs� was originally titled �Daddy�s Deadly Darling� but underwent a slew of banner changes that boggles the mind and memory alike. Also known as: �Horror Farm,� �Lynn Hart,� �The Killer,� �The Killers,� �The Pigs,� �The Strange Exorcism of Lynn Hart� and finally �The Strange Love Exorcist.� �Pigs� is dark and gritty, a little gorey, absurdly amusing in a black humor kind of way, and the pigs scream really loud...a lot. - Christopher Curry

Pure Blood

Directed by: Ken Kaplan
Starring: Danny Keogh, Marius Weyers, Carl Beukes, Aletta Bezuidenhout
91 minutes
1999
Released on DVD by: Troma
3 stars

�Pure Blood� is the very first South African horror movie to be financed in part by their government�s Department of Arts and Culture. Moreover this is Ken Kaplan�s directorial debut, and apparently good fortune awaited this talented newbie at almost every turn. The film was the winner of the Lucio Fulci Award at the Roma Fantafestival and the official selection of the Ft. Lauderdale Goteborg and Cork Film Festivals. Quite a feat; awards, appraisal and bureaucratic approval.

]]> The film is about the creation of an army of undead humans who, under the leadership of a once celebrated yet power mad general, set about a scheme to rule the world. That in and of itself is easy enough to swallow, but apparently there were way too many �cooks in the kitchen� during the writing process and the storyline gets completely out of control. The convoluted plot line not only involves a resurrected father (the general) but also the passing of his blood to his son Fanus, the death and resurrection of Fanus� Mother, poison-blood soaked cakes and conspiracy to commit acts of murder using those cakes. It�s all very interesting, but nearly impossible to decipher.

Want more confusion? The director claims that these are an army of zombies and yet some of the cast and crew refer to these soulless creatures as vampires. Now, these zombie/vampires do live exclusively on the blood of others, but they don�t possess the obligatory fanged-chompers and prefer to get their nourishment through a syringe. Not only that, our resident monsters are very sensitive to light and insist on wearing sunglasses day and night. Personally, I�ve never known of a zombie that had the wherewithal to assemble the proper �works,� tie off an arm, find a vein and then guide a needle methodically into the proper vessel. Not even Bub from Romero�s �Day of the Dead� was that aware. Furthermore, traditional zombies don�t give a damn about sunlight one way or the other.

The film is wacky, well directed, edited and acted with only the plot�s radical twists and turns to drag it down. Nevertheless �Pure Blood� rolls competently along with inventive visuals coupled with witty dark humor and director Kaplan�s fantastic eye for the absurd.

Tromaville outdid themselves this time around on the features which include: Behind the scenes documentaries, interviews with the cast and crew, theatrical trailers and the presentation of the film in its original 1.66:1 aspect ratio (a real rarity for Troma.) - Christopher Curry

Panic Beats

Directed by: Paul Naschy
Starring: Paul Naschy, Julia Saly, Lola Gaos, Manuel Zarzo, Jose Vivo
94 minutes / color
1982
Released on DVD by: Mondo Macabro
3 stars

When compared to his acting career Paul Naschy�s directorial filmography is rather quaint, even with 14 films to his credit. Jacinto Molina is his Spanish birth name, but Paul Naschy is what he declared himself in order to try to crack the Western market. Naschy wrote and starred in �Horror Rises From The Tomb� in 1972 and then reprised his role as Alaric de Marnac in 1982 with his tour de force �Latidos de p�nico� known here as �Panic Beats.�

]]> Legend has it that Alaric De Marnac was a sadistic torturer that lumbered about in a suit of shined armor, brutalizing and killing all women in his wake. In more recent times, Marnac has become a myth or a boogie man. A notion that Naschy�s character plans to use to his advantage.

Naschy portrays Marnac�s decedent, Paul, who is not only aware of his ancestor�s no-good-doings but has also married an aristocratic woman with a nervous disorder. Paul arranges to scare the bejeezus out of his wife, masquerading as Marnac, collect her life insurance and live happily ever after with his little hot-to-trot mistress. What Paul doesn�t know is that his chickie-on-the-side has her own plans, and his demise is in the works as well.

Paul succeeds at doing his wife in and then it�s his turn to go down, and he does. Is that the end? Nope. Alaric de Marnac comes back and claims his descendant killer. Lust, greed, betrayal, gore, mystery and a ghost story all rolled into one. Some might think that �Panic Beats� could win an award for �most convoluted story� but Naschy, being the veteran that he is, holds it all together and manages to make it work. �Panic Beats� is a wonderful Euro-horror piece that offers up all the genre�s nuances: blood, guts, grue, sex, nudity and plenty of atmosphere. Just what the doctor ordered.

Mondo Macabro lent some nice extras to this one including: An interview with Paul Naschy, a documentary on Spanish horror cinema, subtitles and a poster and still gallery. - Christopher Curry

STATIC - X Start A War Reprise

Static-X keeps their style of being a heavy metal industrialesque band in Start a War. Start a War sounds as good as it looks to have Koichi Fukuda back in the band. The band has suffered enough this year with their ex-guitarist Tripp (ex-dope member) facing jail time. But beautiful art comes from the most painful anger, so this album is a true recording of staring the end right in the face and turning your back on the leering eyes and the people expecting you to fail. Start a War sounds like a band of old friends who have put their true personalities on CD. Start a War is a perfect combination of all of Static-X�s albums combining the edginess of Wisconsin Death Trip with the catchier songs of Machine. Start a War is not trying to be radio friendly, or apologize for any problems the band has recently had. Instead Static-X is offering a stripped down heavy version of themselves to get the fans back to the Static-X formula of scratchy, industrial vocals, mixed with pure metal instrumentation. Well, done. - Sara Josephine

Brand New Sin - Recipe for Disaster - Century Media

Brand New Sin is straight forward rock and roll. Songs on Recipe for Disaster follow the verse chorus verse format, but implement elements of guitar solos and gravely vocals to support every song. Despite Brand New Sin�s simple song structures, each tune delivers when it comes to raw emotion and even an element of country when talking about lyrical content and twangy sound. Joe Altier is someone to watch vocally because his voice is heavy and he can really sing. Recipe for Disaster combines so many musical genres and styles, finding someone who did not like any songs on the record would be a challenge. - Sara Josephine

Biomechanical - The Empires of the Worlds - Earache

Well, this is what the love child of Judas Priest and Pantera would be. Two bands that really don�t belong in the same room together, but somehow, when a lovechild is spawned, it turns out beautiful. My face looked confused the whole time I listened to The Empire of the Worlds, but a smile kept showing up. Biomechanical has done the unthinkable of truly creating a sound of metal where old and new battle it out in every song. In the end, both old and new are still standing. This is the heaviest and most brutal example of intricacy. It really sounds like Anselmo and Halford are singing together and Dimebag is right there to supply riff after brutal riff. And the weirdest part of all ladies and gentlemen- Biomechanical hail from London. Yes, London� as in England. I haven�t been more shocked since I heard that Meshuggah was from Sweden, land of the beautiful blondes who ski all day. Anyways, something must be in the water in London because I have never heard anything more chaotic and insane in my life. Biomechanical, I salute you for combining 2 diamonds and creating gold. Seriously, just go out and buy The Empires of the Worlds and in the words of Bart Simpson, �set your faces to stunned.� - Sara Josephine

Meshuggah - Catch Thirtythree - Nuclear Blast

The release of Catch Thirtythree might serve as lucky 13 for the band. This is the 13th album Meshuggah has released since their debut in 1989. The album is full of the classic unique sound Meshuggah is famous for like off-beats, twang guitar, and what I like to call �bass-punching�. This is the sound the bass string makes when you literally punch it. Meshuggah takes all the chaos that bystanders may scoff at and opens a new door in metal. Catch Thirtythree is a perfect example and offering by Meshuggah to solidify their place in heavy metal style pioneers and legends. Catch Thirtythree is laid out as one experience rather than individual songs. Laced with primal screams and tribal beating drums, Catch Thirtythree delivers when it comes to sound, atmosphere, heaviness, and raw talent brought to you by a band who developed a new breed of metal. - Sara Josephine

Graveworm [N] Utopia Nuclear Blast

Graveworm combines the old school death metal vocals and machine speed drums with modern keyboard effects. The stylings of metal could be categorized as groove black metal. [N] Utopia is well thought out and each song is unique and different which is hard to come by in the death/black metal world. One aspect of the band that gives Graveworm their full sound is the fact that they have 3 guitar players that make up the 6-piece band. The atmospheric quality is thanks to Sabine, the uber-hot keyboard player. She does a fantastic job of organizing all the sounds into cohesive songs with great rhythm. [N] Utopia is comprised of only 9 songs, but with each song clocking in just under 5 minutes of metal madness, the band saves themselves and marks their territory as a unique metal band with staying power. - Sara Josephine

Bleed the Sky Paradigm in Entropy Nuclear Blast

Bleed the Sky is hardcore at its finest because it is a darker breed of the genre. There is a lot of death/black metal influence on Paradigm Entropy. The drum work alone on the new album is worth the purchase. There are some great moments of cymbal work and fills that create a great groove and ambience to give a mood to the music. The guitars are on the same level of expertise as the drums and having 6 people in the band gives Bleed the Sky a full sound that fills the air with aggression and power that most hardcore bands do not achieve because the vocals drown out the instrumentation. There are also a lot of vocally melodic moments on Paradigm Entropy that provide a perfect balance between anger and beauty. Bleed the Sky is found a way to separate themselves from other hardcore groups by getting creative with the arrangement of songs, making Paradigm in Entropy a hardcore album where none of the metal influence is missing. - Sara Josephine